Imprinting: No, I won't do that
by mavericka
Summary: What if Sam imprinted on Bella when he found her in the forest? Would he accept the imprint? Can he really resist? And what will Bella do?  AU obviously
1. When Sam found Bella

Sam Uley was not a happy man; running around in the forest during a thunderstorm was not his idea of having fun. On a night like this he should have been at home spending his precious free time with his girlfriend. Yet, here he was out in the rain, searching for a stubborn girl who should have known better. Sam was definitely going to give that silly girl a piece of his mind

Three patrols later he found her in a clearing, sitting under a tree still as a statue with her head between her knees.

"Do you have any idea how many people are out looking for you mad with worry?" he shouted.

No answer. She didn't even make a move. If it wasn't for her heavy breathing Sam would have thought her asleep or even worse dead. He kneeled before her suddenly worried

"Bella, are you ok?", he asked softly, "Bella, talk to me!"

She sprung to her feet and started pacing muttering to herself. Sam was not sure whether to be relieved that she was obviously not hurt or worried about her mental state, when he realized that Bella was angry.

"He left me!", she cried furiously, "After all his promises the bastard left me for my own good!"

She turned to him without any warning, and for the first time their eyes met and time stood still. Sam was speechless, he could barely breathe. When the Elders explained the legends and talked about imprinting he didn't really believe them. It was supposed to be rare so he never gave it a second thought until this moment when he saw her eyes for the first time and realized that those old fools were completely clueless.

She was magnificent. Pacing around furiously with tear stains on her chicks and wet hair stuck on her head in a tangled mess, she was the most beautiful woman Sam had ever seen. He had no idea how long he was standing there watching her like a love sick puppy.

It was her voice that woke him.

"Sam!", she whispered shaken, "I didn't mean to worry anybody... " , her anger mysteriously gone. She may not know about the wolves or imprinting but the power touched her too.

"Let's go back, Bella.", her name like music to Sam's ears. " Do you need help?", he offered.

She stubbornly refused and Sam felt it like a punch to the stomach, but what could he do at this point. To Bella he was just an acquaintance no matter that she was his life…

They started on the way back in silence, Sam didn't want to push her more. He could see that she was close to collapsing, tired and wet and emotionally exhausted

"I 've felt for days that something was wrong" , Bella started reluctantly, "but I couldn't imagine that he would just damp me! After all his promises and vows he's leaving for my own good, he says!", her anger back in full force. "I cried for him, but now I'm angry. How dare he treat me like this? How dare he!"

If she needed to talk and Sam would not refuse her, even if he had to clench his teeth and listen about how the damn leech hurt her. He wanted, no he needed to make her feel better.

"A man who cannot keep a promise is not worth your tears, no matter how much it may hurt just now…", he offered.

It was really an effort to keep the sneering from his voice, it was a bloodsucker after all, but for Bella he would try to be neutral. Bella needed this from him and he would give her what she needed no questions asked.

"I will not cry any more", Bella's voice interrupted his thoughts, "I've wasted enough tears already! All my life I've been strong and independent….. I will be strong again!"

Despite her brave words Bella was spent. She stumbled and would have fallen if Sam wasn't fast enough to catch her. He took her in his arms, settled her head on his shoulder and continued on the way home.

He felt ridiculously proud that Bella chose to confide in him. For this brief moment he had his imprint close to his heart and she found comfort in his arms. All was right in the world.


	2. The morning after

When Sam woke up the next morning his first thought was of Bella. He got dressed with a silly smile on his face trying to remember the vague dreams he had through the night… Something about a pair of deep brown eyes, Bella 's eyes he realized as he went in the kitchen.

He was half way through his second cup of coffee when the reality of his life finally hit him. His eyes fell on the kitchen table where a woman's hairbrush was left forgotten and he froze_. _

_How could he possibly forget Leah? How could he wake up consumed by another woman and not even a stray thought for his girlfriend?_

He stood up with such force that the chair fell backwards, his cup broken on the table, started pacing agitated.

_What was he supposed to do now? _

Imprinted or not, Sam already had a woman in his life.

_Thank God that Leah had to leave early for work this morning! _

Leah has been his friend for years. They've known each other all their lives, they grew up together, went to school together. The next step, to become a couple came so easy.

Even before her change Leah stood by Sam's side no matter what. She accepted him when he became a wolf; she comforted him when he needed somebody to lean on, she helped him in any way she could. And later, after her change Leah's help was even more priceless. She helped Sam to keep some kind of order in the pack; she shared with him the weight and the responsibilities of being the Alpha. She was the best girlfriend a man could ask for.

_How could he possibly live for another woman now?_

Sam cares for Leah, he loves her. Suddenly he's on his knees, gasping for breath.

_And what is it with this pain, like a stab in his chest as soon as he thought about loving Leah? _

Carefully Sam picked himself up and stumbled in the living room. He collapsed on the sofa, only to spring on his feet the next moment furious with himself for being so week , furious with the elders who apparently know nothing about the shit they are spewing, furious with his ancestors who just had to become wolves in the first place and if that was not enough already they left this legacy with no word of warning!

Becoming a wolf took so many of Sam's choices and now imprinting came to take even his freedom of thought?

_No, absolutely not!_

Sam did not have a choice whether to become a wolf or not, but enough already. He would choose who to love and the woman to spend his life with.

Sam has made promises after all. He could not just leave Leah like yesterday's news, because fate said so. He would not break his promises at the first sign of trouble like his father did, taking off, leaving his wife and child behind not caring how much pain he caused.

_No, never!_

He refused to become his father's son. He would not live Leah, imprint be damned! He would find a way to resist to the pull toward Bella.

_Hurts, I can't believe how much it hurts!_

Sam fell on his knees again suddenly in pain. Bella's name even in his thoughts sounded like a melody and the mere thought of not having her brought extreme pain. Still, how could he abandon Leah, just because fate said that his mate was somewhere else? Aren't wolves supposed to mate for life?

_No, no I could not leave her!_

And what about the pack? What would his brother say? How could he ask them to accept him rejecting Leah, one of them, for the vampire girl? He could not. But how it hurts thinking of Bella in the same sentence with that damn leech!

_I need to see her. Is she ok? Is still hurting about him?_

_NO! I need to keep my promises._

Sam always thought that a man who could not keep his word is completely worthless.

Not even making an effort to get up any more he lied on his back in the middle of the floor trying to reason with himself.

Sam used to be proud of his strong will. He would not let this imprinting control him. He would not say anything about it. As the Alpha wolf he had a little more privacy in his head and a lot more practice keeping his mind clear. He loved Leah and he would stay with Leah.

_No matter how much this thought hurts….._

This pain he felt was surely from the shock of finding out about the imprint. He would get used to it in a few days and everything would go back to normal. Till then he would stay away from Bella, as far away as possible.

_I could not even imagine how I would feel if I saw Bella now. No, no, no! Better to stay away…_

Besides what could Sam possible offer Bella at this point? She has just been betrayed by a man she loved. Why would she want to get involved with another? But what if she needs him? The elders did say that the wolf would be whatever the imprint wants and needs, a brother, a friend, a lover.

_As if those silly men had any idea what they were talking about_!

The feelings choking Sam were nowhere near friendship. If a friend was what Bella needed, wouldn't Sam just feel it? He shouldn't be burning like this.

_If only I could see her for a minute! _

Sam kept struggling in his reasoning, looking for an excuse, any excuse really, although he did not know any more what exactly he was trying to convince himself of.

_No, no Sam! You must not!_

_But what if Bella needs me? What if she feels the pull too?_

Bella could not possibly feel this pull. She was not a wolf after all. No, Bella was all right and Sam must do anything and everything to keep her that away. He should stay away from her. Bella did not need any more complications in her life right now. And what would a conflicted man be for Bella, if not a complication?

Besides he was not just a man, but a man with a wolf living inside him. Why make her live with the wolf too, take away her choices? Bella surely did not need another supernatural being. That leech had probably made her sick of the supernatural. What if she couldn't live with the wolf?

_No, no, no! Anything but that! _

Sam felt like dying. If Bella rejected the wolf… it was a terrible thought. He could not stand that, such a thought caused unbearable pain. It would be better if Sam kept his distance.

Yes, he would stay away from Bella. It was really the best thing to do.

Sam should be with Leah, his girlfriend.

_But, what if…_

Back and forth Sam went for hours, determined to keep his promises to Leah and spare her the pain of leaving her, while equally desperate to find an excuse to run to Bella as his wolf demanded.

He would have probably stayed in the living room floor for hours debating, if the pack hadn't come looking for him worried. It was not like Sam, after all, to be late or neglectful of his duties. Hearing them come, Sam put his game face on and greeted them as if nothing had happened.

He would do nothing. The die has been cast.

For now anyway…..

Sam has not seen Bella yet again and fate has not spoken….


	3. White Nights

The next few days passed without any earth-shattering events either in La Push or in Forks.

Sam was determined to stick to his decision to stay away from Bella and therefore he was somewhat stable.

Bella was also trying her best to keep her word. _No more tears_, she whispered to herself as she got up every day. She went to school and acted as if nothing had happened to change her life. She endured the endless questions about the Cullens and their hasty departure, the whispers behind her back and the stares of pity, when all she wanted was to scream and be left alone. She went home after school and busied herself with homework or housework, anything really to keep her from thinking and remembering. She ignored Charlie's furious mutterings about her disappearance in the woods and his smug comments about how right he was from the beginning to think that this Edward was up to no good. She resisted the urge to go back to the Cullen house one more time and pretend that Edward was on one of their hunting trips and would be back any minute.

But when the night came Bella's good intentions went to waste. In the silence of the night she could not keep her strong façade. She would remember her days with the Cullens and she would double over with pain. The times with Edward in their clearing and the endless talks about anything and everything, the shopping trips Alice would drug her into kicking and screaming but secretly enjoying, the goofing around with Emmet, the quite times with Jasper, the parental affection of Esme and Carlisle; every little memory would bring her down in tears. They had all become such a big part of her life and suddenly they just disappeared leaving her all alone with her memories.

And the next moment Bella would become angry. She would remember how Edward led her out to the woods to make a grant speech and leave her for her own good, despite his promises to love her forever.

_How dare he lie to her like that?_

She would remember that they all left without an explanation, a goodbye, not even a backward glance as if she mattered nothing to them and she would boil with rage.

_How dare they make her feel like a part of their family only to abandon her? _

Pain and anger and again pain and anger once more…. Bella was trapped in a vicious circle with no control of herself. She tore all the photographs she had of them, threw away their presents, broke in tiny pieces the CDs Edward made for her, wanting nothing to remind her of them in one of her furious moments. And later when her anger deflated some, she cried like a baby needing the mementos back.

Still, Bella was determined not to give up. She had always been an independent person; growing up with Renée she didn't have much of a choice. She promised she would stand on her own two feet once more. Every passing day she counted as a victory, like an addict trying to get over their addiction. When she thought about her relationship with Edward in her more objective moments, she found it kind of embarrassing how she became so dependent on him for everything. She barely recognized herself! She couldn't believe how she let Alice walk all over her, how she allowed both of them to manipulate her again and again. It really hurt to think like that, but these thoughts popped in her mind more and more often and they fueled her existing anger.

_How dare they treat her like a toy? And how could she possibly let them do it for so long?_

It was that anger that kept her going every morning after a restless night. Bella refused to let the Cullens and Edward in particular rule her life more than they already did. She swore as she woke up every day, that she would get over him. She clenched her teeth and went on with another day, another circle of turbulent emotions.

Even Charlie for all his tough love act had noticed her struggle. He had asked her more than once if she wanted to return to Phoenix and visit Renée for a while until she felt a little better, but Bella refused him every time. She realized that it was the sensible thing to do to make things a little easier for her, but she couldn't leave. She couldn't stand the idea of leaving Forks. It was totally unreasonable, but thinking of going away made her break out in cold sweat. It was as she was tied to Forks for some reason; even a short trip to Port Angeles made her anxious these days.

_Damn you Edward Cullen, what have you done to me? First you leave me and then you trap me here? How I wish I could be free of you! To forget you as if I've never met you…_

To say that Bella was angry once more by this new turn of events, it would be an understatement_. _Anger seemed to be her most prominent emotion with every passing day, even more than pain at times.

_Was this the beginning of the end? _

She had to win that battle with herself, she just had to…. She didn't know how much more of this emotional roller coaster she could stand, but Bella was unbelievably stubborn when she wanted to be.

_She would forget Edward Cullen even if it killed her!_

_She would not let those traitorous vampires get the better of her…._


	4. The Hand Of Fate

**AN**: It took me a while to write this chapter, unfortunately work got in the way... But when I finally had it, ffnet would not cooperate with me.I've been trying to update for days! Well... It seems that today is our lucky day after all... Enjoy!

When Fate has to deal with two such stubborn people like Sam Uley and Bella Swan, drastic measures have to be taken. Said measures came in the form of Charlie Swan, who grew tired of his daughter's outbursts and decided to take matters into his own hands.

Charlie truly believed in tough love. He adored his daughter but he was not willing to cuddle her. He tolerated her tears and angry fits for days, but enough already. The boy was definitely not worth it. He would not allow this situation to fester any more, Bella would have to get a grip on herself and start dealing. It was a cruel world after all and only the strong survived. Having made his decisions Charlie put his plan into action. He cornered Bella as she was coming from school one afternoon and he laid down the law. Bella was to get her act together and stop this pointless grieving, no one had died after all. Needless to say that Bella did not react well to this ultimatum. She felt totally betrayed by her father's lack of understanding. His harsh tone, that of a general commanding his troops, did not help any. A screaming match followed and Bella run out of the house crying.

Bella was driving aimlessly for hours when she found herself in La Push with no idea how she got there. She left her car and walked down to First Beach. She felt lighter with every step she took; she has always loved this beach. The tightness in her chest eased a little, that ache was such a constant nowadays that she barely noticed it anymore. She sat on the sand with her back on a broken log, tired all of the sudden, and sighed. She did not want to go back home. Charlie's reaction hurt too much. She didn't expect heartfelt words of consolation or grand gestures. She knew her father was a reserved man, but his callous way was completely unexpected. Bella realized that she may love her father deeply, but she didn't know him at all! It was not a happy thought. Lately all of her thoughts were unhappy ones. She didn't want to think anymore. She closed her eyes and let the sound of the waves numb her mind.

This was how Sam found her hours later. He knew of course that she had been there from the first minute. He felt her presence the moment she passed the La Push borders. For the first time in days he felt lighter, the pain inside him eased a little. Still he didn't dare to go to her. He stayed hidden in the trees, although he was ashamed of his stalkerish behavior. "I must stay true to my word", he whispered but Sam knew all too well that he was lying. He didn't dare to go closer, afraid of her reaction, terrified of her rejection. He stayed in the woods for hours staring at Bella, while he tried to take the final step towards her…

As dusk fell it got colder, but Bella showed no sign of leaving. Sam felt torn; on the one hand his hesitance to go to her, he had already made his decision to stay away after all, his need to protect her on the other… How could he leave her alone in the dark? He felt his resistance crumbling, the pull towards Bella getting stronger by the minute. He wasn't even sure he wanted to resist anymore… With every passing day it got more difficult to remember the reasons why he stayed away, and the pain was getting unbearable. Only now that he felt her close could he breathe easily. Deciding to follow his wolf's instincts for once, he got out of the woods and walked to her. Bella turned her head, surprising him. His steps were almost silent since he became a wolf, how could she have heard him from that distance?

"Hey Sam", she whispered, "I hope there's no problem with me being here…."

"No worries Bella", he assured her. Sam was ecstatic that she had finally come to him, even though he knew she wasn't really there looking for him. To see her there on the tribe's lands on her own free will was like a dream come true, a dream he didn't realize he had till he saw her on the beach, and it would have to be enough for now. "You are always welcome on our lands. We do try to discourage people coming here, but we have no problems when somebody respects our land and our people".

"I didn't get the chance to thank you… for that night… I wouldn't have found the way home on my own… " Bella was still reluctant to talk about that night but she felt that she owed Sam that much. And she found it easy to talk to him. Even that night when she was so out of control she felt like she could trust him, a surprising thing really, because trust never came easy to her. "So… thank you Sam. I really needed someone that night."

"Bella…." Sam sighed; he passed his hand through his hair suddenly uncomfortable by her gratitude, it was not what he wanted or needed from her. "You don't have to thank me. Anyone would have helped you. I couldn't just leave you in the woods!"

"But Sam, you didn't just point me to the right direction, did you? You stayed there with me, in the rain I might add, and listened to me ranting about my ex boyfriend of all things! It meant a lot to me Sam…. You really helped me."

"I was glad I could help you Bella…", Sam choked. All the emotions he was struggling to contain since the night he imprinted on her were now coming to the surface. His wolf was furious that his mate was suffering but at the same time proud that she found comfort in him. He raised his hand to her hair longing to touch her, but he clenched his fist and put it back down before she could see his move, barely controlling himself. He wanted to hold her in his arms, but he couldn't. How would he explain it? Their relationship wasn't that close and the last thing he needed was to scare Bella away. She was nervous enough as it was.

They stayed silent after that. It was not an uncomfortable silence and neither was too eager to break it, as Sam was afraid of upsetting Bella if he mentioned a "sensitive" topic and Bella was too agitated to even think of making small talk. They would have gone like that for hours hadn't Sam noticed Bella shivering.

"Bella, you are freezing!" He took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders. His hands lingered a little more on her back than what was strictly necessary to put a jacket on, but he couldn't resist touching her now that he finally had an excuse. That was why he had taken a jacket with him in the first place; it wasn't like he needed much clothing after his change.

"What are you doing out here at this hour, anyway?"

Bella frowned and shook her head. It was a reasonable question, she admitted. She took a deep breath and tried to explain. "I had a fight with Charlie earlier, a really bad fight…. I stormed out of the house, got in my car and started driving with no real purpose. I was on the road for hours… Frankly I have no idea how I ended up here! Now that I think about it, I always seem to come to First Beach when I 'm upset... Isn't it weird?" , she finished embarrassed.

"Why would it be weird, Bella? ", Sam sounded genuinely curious, "I also come to the beach when I am angry or upset. I climb up the cliffs and watch the sea. I always feel calmer afterwards."

"But Sam, this is a sacred place for your tribe and I don't have a drop of Quileute blood in me!" Bella yelled exasperated, "Why would I feel at home here? It doesn't make sense. ", she muttered, but of course Sam heard her clearly. His heart missed a beat thinking the implications of Bella's words. She felt at home in La Push which probably meant that she might also feel the pull of the imprint. He took a deep breath trying to calm down. Another one of his arguments for ignoring the imprint crumbled right before his eyes. _Was it really the best for Bella if he stayed away? What if she needed him? What if she was she in pain? And it was his fault!_

Sam was on the verge of a panic attack, the thought that he was causing his mate pain was something that the wolf couldn't bear. He started shaking, his wolf trying to claw his way out and protect his mate.

"Sam… Sam! SAM! Are you all right? You are shaking…" Bella's worried voice finally got through to him and he managed to control himself and lock the wolf safely inside.

"I'm ok Bella. Don't worry." He hoped that he sounded confident enough to persuade her, his explanation weak even to his own ears, "I just had an unpleasant thought…" . Bella didn't seem convinced but she dropped the subject nevertheless.

"Charlie told me to stop the grieving and get a grip on myself, or else." , she offered steering the conversation away of whatever was bothering him. Bella couldn't explain that sudden need to make Sam feel better but she couldn't stand seeing him so upset. "He said that he couldn't understand the fuss I was making and demanded that I stop at once. I am his daughter for God's sake, not one of his officers! I told him so." Bella was angry again.

"Charlie didn't take that well, I gather." Sam knew that Charlie was so set on his ways that he would be extremely surprised if he did take well such a comment or attitude for that matter.

"Ha! That's an understatement, if I ever heard one." , hissed Bella. "You know, it's sad to realize that you may love your father but you don't know the man at all…. " she trailed off.

Sam was speechless. What could Charlie have done to make Bella react so strongly? He shrugged, Charlie's predicament was no concern of his. In fact, Charlie should be grateful that Sam did not unleash his wolf on him for hurting his mate! But Bella? He obviously needed to tell her something, but being on his own for so long, not that he had much of family life before his father took off condemning his mother too in the process, he didn't know how to handle family fights. He didn't know what he was supposed to say or do in a situation like this. Thankfully, Bella didn't seem to need an answer, it was enough for her that Sam was there and he was listening.

"What are you planning to do now, Bella?" , Sam finally asked, "You can't stay here forever, you know….." , he tried to joke.

Bella didn't find it so funny though. "I don't want to go home. I can't face him. I just can't!"

"But Bella you can't stay here…. And you know it." Sam argued, someone had to be responsible there and although he didn't like it one bit that someone had to be him. "Charlie must be frantic with worry by now. "

"I don't care how Charlie feels!" , she screamed, "Why should I, when he doesn't?" , her voice broke and she fought to keep the tears from falling. She would not cry, no one had died after all!

"Bella…", Sam didn't know how to make her feel better, the tears in her eyes tearing him apart. "Come on, Bella, you know you can't stay on the beach….."

"No, Sam! I am not going home! You don't have to stay with me though. You should leave, you must be tired" , she was trying for polite but it was obvious that she didn't really want him to leave, not that Sam was leaving anyway.

"If you really think that I will leave you here all alone especially when you are so upset, then you don't know me at all Bella!", Sam tone was harsh and Bella flinched hearing the hurt in his voice. Sam noticed that though and took a deep breath in an effort to calm down. Bella was upset enough without him adding to it.

"Let me call Billy at least to tell him you are ok. The last thing we need is having the entire reservation out looking for you, because a distraught Charlie went to Billy for help" , he tried again.

"Ok…", she grudgingly agreed. She would never admit to it, not even to herself, but she was oddly touched by that "we" Sam used.

Sam took a few steps away to phone Billy, while Bella stayed where she was watching him. He was a really stunning man; the way he was pacing back and forth made a breathtaking picture. Bella was shocked, beyond words. _Where on earth did this thought come from? Sam and her were just friends! Thank God that Sam was still on the phone and didn't see her drooling…._

"Charlie has already been to Billy's looking for you. He was furious, although Billy says that he was covering his worry with all that anger." , Sam explained as he walked back, "He wanted to send search parties in the woods, but Billy managed to convince him to wait a while. So, Charlie went home for now, not at all pleased with Billy's reaction to the news."

Sam stopped to examine her face. She was flushed with a weird look in her eyes. What brought this on; he wondered but found it smarter not to ask. "And the whole reservation probably knows by now that you had a fight with Charlie and left the house angry.", he added as an afterthought.

"Great! Just what I needed! A bunch of curious people staring and asking questions!" Bella grumbled. "Anything else I need to know?", she asked annoyed.

"Well… Billy says to stop being stubborn and go to his house as soon as possible" Sam took a step back as he said that, ready for an explosion and he was not disappointed.

"What?", Bella shouted , "Why would he ask something like that?"

"I suppose that he had to promise something to Charlie to get him to leave it alone. Or he is simply worried about you.", Sam replied calmly. That girl would be the death of him, he thought, but really he wouldn't want it any other way.

"I am not going to Billy's. I don't want to be a burden. Surely, he didn't really mean it" Bella could be very stubborn when she wanted to, but Sam wasn't worried. He smirked and gave her the final blow. "Oh, I'm sure he meant it. His exact words were: Tell Bella to come here now, or I'll send Jake after her."

"Jake? Now I'm screwed!", Bella moaned, "I have to go to Billy's."

Sam didn't answer. He was too busy laughing at her disgusted look. "I didn't know you were so afraid of Jake!", he gasped between laughs, "Who would have guessed!"

"I am definitely not afraid of Jake!" she huffed, " He is the younger annoying brother I never had. Believe me, you don't want Jake on your case, he is more persistent than a dog with a bone!"

Bella started walking away, took a few steps and turned to talk to Sam who hadn't moved.

"Well Sam, aren't you coming?" she smiled teasingly, "I have to go to Billy's asap, you know."

Sam smiled back relieved that he had managed to finally lift her spirits. He hurried after her. "I'll walk you to your car.", he simply said. As he passed by her, Bella stopped him taking his hand. "Sam… thank you", she whispered, "You always seem to be here when I need you."

He didn't speak for a moment enjoying the feeling of her hand in his. "I will always be by your side when you need me", he promised her. Bella was moved by the look in his eyes and nodded silently, as they kept walking to her car.

It was not a promise of eternal love, but it was a beginning. Nothing would be the same again between them, no matter what the stubborn duo did to ignore it.


	5. A Chain of Reactions

The days that followed Sam and Bella's meeting on the beach were difficult, to say the least.

After spending some time with Bella and actually talking to her, Sam realized that his attempt to keep distance between them was pointless, if not downright dangerous. He couldn't stop thinking about her; not that this was a new development, Sam thought of Bella constantly since he imprinted on her, but this time he had actual memories to draw on and not vague impressions or fantasies. He relived those hours with her so many times; it must have been a miracle that kept his pack from realizing something was going on. He always came to the same conclusion: Bella's words, her body language and actions, everything about her pointed in the same direction: Bella was feeling the pull of the imprint in some form and that alone made his wolf very aggressive. His mate needed him and he could not ignore it any more.

Still, that didn't mean that Sam would run to her, confess about the imprint and proclaim his undying love – what a ridiculous thought! Bella would probably have him locked up right away. He still loved Leah after all and couldn't abandon her just because he imprinted! No, of course not! He had never been a coward and he would not start shying away from his responsibilities now. All he had to do was keep in touch with Bella, spend some time with her, be her friend basically. Nothing had to change in their everyday life, right? This way the wolf got to protect and support his imprint if there ever was a need and Sam would gain a new friend. Problem solved.

Bella on the hand was not faring as well, as Sam did. She woke up the morning after their meeting under the thoughtful eyes of Billy Black and was coaxed eventually into going home and making up with Charlie. Unfortunately, Billy's hard work went to waste and it was definitely hard work to convince Bella in stubborn mode to give Charlie a chance.

As soon as Bella got home, she found Charlie furious that she talked back to him, or maybe screamed back would be more like it. His worry about her safety the night before had turned initially to relief to be followed by rage and Billy's seemingly brush-off made matters even worse. He refused to listen to Bella or consider even for a second that he might be wrong. As a result, they had words, hurtful things were said and Charlie ended up throwing Bella out of the house until she started showing some respect as he said. Naturally, Bella went back to La Push and Billy's, it was her home away from home after all.

Bella spent the next few days in a daze. She was hit hard by the double abandonment and betrayal first of the man who claimed to love her and then her father. What were the odds of that happening, she wondered. Given time, she could maybe excuse _him, _she didn't want to even think of his name; he was after all a stranger who happened to have a relationship with her for a time. But her own father to toss her aside after an argument? Family was supposed to love you and stand by your side no matter what, but her father obviously followed a different rulebook. If he thought that Bella would cool off and come back with her tail between her legs begging for his forgiveness, he had another think coming. Bella would not forget or forgive any time soon, if ever…. She always believed that family should come first and the realization that her father didn't, hurt beyond words.

And then there was Sam, as if she wasn't in enough turmoil already! Sam who brought so many feelings to the surface… Sam who used to be an acquaintance at most and turned to a trusted friend in a few days time… And what was Sam now? A romantic interest? Of course not, she loved _him _still damn it! But Sam wasn't just a friend Bella had to admit, if only to herself. What kind of a person was she to love _him _at one day and be so fascinated with Sam the next? Where did these feelings come from? And, why now? The thoughts kept popping up in her head but she had no answers.

Bella didn't like mysteries and hated surprises even more. She had a terrible suspicion though, that she would have to face both really soon. It was just a feeling, nothing she could really pinpoint. The way Billy kept staring at her, especially when Sam was around, it was as if he was waiting for something to happen. And now that she thought about it, Sam was around a lot lately. Why was that? He was so much older and he wasn't really friendly with Jake.

Jake, she thought with a frown, that boy was another mystery… One day he was there beside her and the next he disappeared mysteriously ill. She had to force the issue just to see him, Jake who had been a part of her life, her family really, since the day he was born! When he reappeared with no convincing explanation by the way, he was a different person: Grown up overnight with a body to die for, well… if he wasn't the younger brother she never had anyway, scalding hot to the touch and unreasonably strong, with acute senses, an endless appetite and a temper to match. What on earth happened to him and why? Changes like that were not normal adolescent development. She didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean….

What she also didn't want to think about were the implications of Billy's strange behaviour… He was not himself during Jake's disappearance, secretive, rude, almost hostile at times and definitely unwelcoming. She didn't think anything of it at the time, believing that he was just worried about Jake's illness. Now though…. It was suspicious how Jake changed so much and Billy didn't even bat an eyelid. He didn't answer Charlie's shocked questions either. He sat there listening to Charlie's not so subtle hints about steroids and he never said a word. Jake was coming and going as he liked, disappearing for hours at all times of the day or the night and Billy told him nothing. He was just a fifteen year old boy; surely giving a teenager such freedom was not normal parental behavior! Bella tried to ask Billy about all that weird stuff she saw since she moved in. He smiled serenely, told her that she was overreacting and wheeled away effectively closing the conversation. That was so wrong in so many levels! Billy had always been her second father in everything but blood. They used to talk to each other and trust each other, now…. nothing. Being disconnected with Billy just after her father's rejection was terrifying. Not even in her worst nightmares had Bella ever imagined that these two would not be by her side. It happened though, twisting the knife in her wounds.

With all those thoughts in her head Bella was understandably distracted. It actually took her days before she realized that _he_ was not the first thought in her mind. She still thought about him of course, but it was not consuming her any more. Charlie's exlosion and everything that followed had shifted her attention from _him_. She was more surprised to realize that the pain of his leaving was starting to fade, replaced by worry and anger. She had been sleeping better too; in fact she hadn't had a single nightmare since she moved to La Push!

Not that her nights were peaceful without the nightmares, but her dreams these days were completely different. She kept dreaming about Sam: She dreamt about that first night in the woods and she woke up in cold sweat, longing for him to hold her tight as he did that night. She also dreamt of the night on the beach; Sam's eyes were haunting her. She didn't understand what she saw in them. Sam was trying to tell her something, she was sure about that, but she couldn't make out the words swirling in those eyes. All she knew was that she wanted him close to her_. _

_What was Sam doing to her?_

She needed him and that scared her. She didn't like being out of control, having that awful feeling that she couldn't rule her own life. So many of her choices were dictatedby Edward – there, she said his name and the sky did not fall on her head! He wouldn't let him control her anymore; she didn't want to live like this. Even the first days when the pain was crippling her, she swore not to sacrifice her independence and self worth to suit a man's needs again. No man was worth it; her mother always said it and now she was proven right….

What do we need men anyway, she wondered bitterly. All the men in her life brought her nothing but pain…


	6. Explosive Conversations

**AN:** _ Italics_ is thoughts as usual.

_**Bold italics**_ is the wolves speaking through the pack mind.

Enjoy!

"Sam! Sam, are you here?"

Sam groaned and buried his head in the pillow hoping she would go away if she got no answer. Having to deal with that particular woman first thing in the morning was a lousy way to start the day.

"Sam Uley, get your ass down here! You've been avoiding me for days, but this stops now!"

Sam winced at her shrill voice. He really should have known better; Leah Clearwater was not a patient woman. He heard her stomping towards the stairs and hurried to get up. She would think of nothing before storming into his bedroom and dousing him with frozen water.

«For God's sake Leah, stop screaming! You know damn well that I can hear you.", he yelled annoyed, "Did we catch fire or something?"

"Sam Uley, don't get cute with me! You've been avoiding me. I've stayed at my parent's for the past week and not once did you ask me to spend the night! Something is going on and I want to know what!", she demanded putting her hands to her waist and tapping her foot impatiently.

"Nothing is going on, Leah…." Sam muttered tiredly but his voice sounded weak even to his own ears.

Hearing his tone Leah stopped to look at him for the first time that morning.

"Sam, you look awful!", she gasped, "What happened to you?"

Sam sighed irritated. Her unexpected visit so early in the morning had caught him off guard. He hadn't had the time to put his game face on and now he would have to face Leah's endless questions.

"I'm fine. I haven't even had my coffee yet!", he said sarcastically and hurried to the kitchen. Her penetrating eyes made him uncomfortable and he needed the caffeine if he wanted to survive her interrogation. Hiding behind a cup also seemed tempting.

Leah was quicker though. She grabbed his hand and forced him to turn and face her. She took his face in her hands and really looked at him.

"Sam, you can't fool me you know.", she said softly, "I know you too well for that. You are definitely not fine."

Sam shuddered and took a step back to put some distance between them. He couldn't bare her touch on his skin anymore. He turned abruptly and went out to the porch his need for coffee forgotten; all he wanted was to escape. He realized that was the first time she touched him since he imprinted and he was horrified with the implications.

_How could he possibly keep the imprint a secret and hope to spend his life with Leah if he couldn't even touch her or be touched by her? _

"Leah, I'm telling you for the last time, I am fine!"

Sam tried to hide his desperation with anger. All his carefully made plans, all his efforts since that night were now pointless. All the pain he put himself through and possibly Bella was for nothing. It couldn't be done. He closed his eyes as he heard Leah's steps coming closer, feeling the depression settling on his shoulders. The imprint won despite his best effort… He wasn't strong enough to control his own life.

_What kind of a man did that make him? _He wasn't sure he wanted to find out.

Leah stopped right behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, an obvious gesture of comfort, but Sam couldn't take it. Her touch made his skin crawl and his wolf roared enraged at the supposed betrayal. He shook her off violently.

"Don't touch me!", he hissed almost without realizing it. He saw her flinching at his tone and wished he could take it back. It was killing him to hurt Leah like this but his wolf was too close to the surface and control was a struggle.

"Sam … ", she tried again, "We always trusted each other. We used to talk about everything. What changed?"

"Leah…", a plea that fell on deaf ears.

" And don't tell nothing's wrong when I can clearly see that something is upsetting you." Leah went on as if she hadn't heard him.

" How can I help you if you don't talk to me?"

Silence. Sam didn't dare to open his mouth; who knew what he would utter at this point.

"Sam Uley! Stop beating around the bush and tell me what's wrong! I am trying to be sympathetic here but you are not making any sense!"

Leah was clearly losing her patience. She started pacing on the porch unable to stay still any more. She was hurt, confused, angry; you name it, she felt it. Sam refusal to talk felt like a slap in the face. They used to share everything for so long that she couldn't imagine what it was that Sam kept hidden. She felt him pulling away by the minute and that scared her. _What could possibly be that bad? _

Leah didn't like being scared. She was by nature a very determined person and this feeling of helplessness was not sitting well with her. She decided that any answer would be better than Sam's evasions. Since sympathy didn't get her anywhere with Sam, it was time to demand some answers. _Being nice was so overrated!_

She smirked and stopped pacing. Sam may be stubborn but she could out stubborn him any day of the week. She would get her answers and she would get them now damn it! She strode across the porch and grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn and look at her.

"Stop avoiding the elephant in the room, Sam!", she ordered, "It's time to talk or do you want to explain this to the whole pack?", she asked in falsely sweet tone.

It was an empty threat and Sam would have realized it right away if he was thinking straight. He should know that Leah would never expose his weakness, the Alpha's weakness really, to the pack, no matter how mad she was. She had been by his side from the start and understood better than most the need for hierarchy and keeping unruly teenage wolves on a tight leash. But Sam wasn't thinking straight or at all and Leah's careless words pushed him over the edge. He lost the fight for control and ran to the woods behind the house phasing mid step.

"Oh Sam…. You should know that I didn't really mean that….." , she whispered apologetically before phasing and following him to the woods. She had a feeling that Sam was in no condition to be left by himself. What else could she do? She ran after him.

Leah was bombarded with Sam's frantic thoughts as soon as she phased, but she couldn't make out anything of the jumbled mess. She gulped and tried hard not to panic as she tried to catch up with him. Feeling Sam so overwhelmed, beaten to submission really, by the wolf was absolutely terrifying.

_What on earth happened to reduce Sam to this state?_

The normally controlled and powerful Alpha was having a nervous breakdown. Actually, he was so far gone that there was nothing coherent in his head.

_Thank you Taha Aki and all our ancestors that no one else is phased right now!_

Leah couldn't begin to imagine the complete chaos that would be brought on the pack if any of the younger wolves saw their Alpha in that state and how impossible it would be to deal without him. Sam would also be mortified to be seen so vulnerable by the young ones.

_Oh well, he would have to control himself and restrain the wolf before he felt anything resembling mortification_. _Where is he, damn it?_

Leah was more worried about finding him in the first place, before any of their pack brothers phased and realized the problem. She felt as if she had been running for hours and she probably had been, it's not exactly easy to calculate time in wolf form, when she noticed the first signs of improvement from Sam. Maybe his panic was dying down or he was simply getting tired, but his thoughts were starting to clear some and Leah sighed with relief_. _

_Finally, some progress! _

Sam was still not making any sense but broken words and vague images were projected through the pack mind and Leah was positive that somewhere in this mess she would find enough clues to solve the puzzle.

Nothing could prepare her, however, for what came through next.

_An image of Bella Swan pacing furiously in the forest? What the hell?_

_**Bella …..hurts….imprint… need… Bella….**_

She was assaulted by a wave of Sam's emotions so strong that her legs gave way and she crumbled on the forest floor.

_Imprint? Bella? Surely he didn't mean Bella Swan? Sam imprinted? On Bella Swan? _

_Sam, oh Sam what have you done?_

Leah was petrified. It couldn't be. She must have misunderstood. It must be a mistake.

_When did she phase back?_

She couldn't remember. All she could think about was Bella's face in Sam's mind.

_When did this happen? How did this happen? _

Imprinting was supposed to be rare_. _The elders said not to worry about it.

_Figures that they had no idea what they were talking about, the old pompous fools! And Sam, how did he manage to keep it a secret for so long?_

Leah laughed bitterly. Be careful what you wish for, her mother always said. Well, she should have listened to her! She tried to stand and swayed dangerously close to falling. She choked back her tears. "This is not the time to faint like a fairy tale princess, Leah", she chastised herself and tried again.

This time she managed a few steps before collapsing. She closed her eyes and covered her ears but she couldn't block out the images in her head. She recalled perfectly the pain and longing in Sam's voice, and it was not for her. Never again would it be for her. Sam imprinted on someone else. She lost him. She would have to let him go.

_What else is there to do when you are not what your man needs or wants anymore?_

Leah clutched her chest gasping for breath and made no move to get up.

_How could she leave Sam? _

The mere thought of living without Sam brought her such a crippling pain that she curled into a tight ball whimpering_._

_How she wished it was all a bad dream! To wake up and find nothing had changed...Maybe she could….._ _But how could she not leave him when he clearly belongs to someone else?_

"Why, oh why Sam?", she sobbed into her arms, "Why did you have to imprint on her? Wasn't I enough for you?"

Every question stung like salt on an open wound, but Leah could not shut her mind down.

_How could she, a white girl, be the Alpha's mate, Sam?_

_How could she, a leech lover understand you and support you better than me, Sam?_

_How could you do this, Sam?_

They kept coming and coming, question without answers and Sam was nowhere to be found.

"How could you do this to me, Sam?", she wailed, but anger was coming fast to pair up with the pain the more she thought about Sam. Sam who had all the answers but said nothing.

_How dare he keep such a secret? He was not the only one involved in this but he cared for nothing but himself! Where are you Sam? Why aren't you here to face the truth?_

"God damn you Sam! How could you do this? How could you?", she screamed into the skies but there was no one there. Only the trees would witness her pain and her anger.

Too bad they wouldn't warn anyone of the avalanche fast approaching La Push and its finest. Another wall has fallen.


	7. One step forward

The moment Sam jumped from the porch and phased, he knew it was the end. What would happen next was not in his hands anymore and he felt relieved. Well, he was scared to death about everyone's reaction to the news but he was nevertheless relieved. No more hiding behind weak excuses, no more agonizing over this or that choice.

Sam let his wolf take over, if one could even call it that. The wolf was so enraged by Leah's nerve not only to touch him regarding it as a betrayal to the imprint, but also to treat him, the Alpha, with such disrespect, to blackmail him, that he clawed his way to the surface and took total control pushing Sam, the man, out of the way. Therefore, it was a mindless Sam driven by pure instinct that escaped the house and ran to the woods.

He ran for hours and hours having no sense of the time passing. He ran and ran and ran till he had no more strength to take a single step. Only then did he feel the wolf retreating and Sam was able to take back control of his mind and body. And he almost wished he hadn't, as he was assaulted by waves of emotion. It was all there: curiosity and astonishment and doubt and rage and jealousy, but above all pain, excruciating pain that brought him to his knees. He phased and sank to the ground relieved to break the chain of emotions. He didn't have to guess what was wrong. Soon enough he could hear Leah screaming and crying somewhere in the distance and he knew that she had finally discovered the truth.

_And you thought you could keep it a secret forever…You fool you didn't even last a day! _

The taunting voice in his mind sounded suspiciously like Leah, but since there were both in their human forms it couldn't be her. It just proved how close their relationship had gotten over the years that even his conscience sounded like her. Now everything was going to be different. Everything they shared would be burnt in Leah's pain. Their life together, their memories would be drowned in her resentment. He knew Leah well enough to realize that she would react strongly, probably disowning him. Of course she had every right to be angry, but he didn't mean to hurt her damn it! It wasn't as if he had a choice! Could they be strong enough to get over this? Could they be friends somewhere in the future? And how was he supposed to run their pack without her support?

Another scream brought Sam out of his trance.

_Was he really so selfish? For God's sake how could he think about the pack and not having Leah's help, when she was hurting? _

He clenched his fists and closed his eyes breathing hard. Hearing Leah suffering like this was killing him. Sam wished he could go to her, hug her and comfort her as they always did for each other since they were children, but he didn't dare.

_What could he possibly tell her to console her and not sound patronizing? What words could he use to ease her pain when he was the one causing it? There were no words really_.

So Sam stayed where he was counting the minutes and cursing himself for causing such pain to someone he loved.

_So much pain… God Leah, I never meant to hurt you… _

_I really thought I could make this work for all of us….. How stupid have I been!_

Sam realized now that he could have handled things differently and spared some of Leah's pain but of course hindsight is 20/20. He was guilty of making important decisions in the heat of the moment. He was guilty of letting his issues with his past and his father in particular determine those decisions. He was guilty of not asking for help when he so obviously needed it. He was guilty of so many things… And Leah was paying for his shortcomings. Leah who was nothing but loyal and strong and brave, now reduced to a broken mess because of him.

_How could he possibly make it up to her? Was there a way? _

_Would Leah even want to find a way? _

Sam somehow doubted it. He could hear the anger in her voice and he shuddered to think how she would react the next time she saw him.

Not to mention the rest of the pack… The others didn't know that he imprinted and they probably hadn't even noticed something was wrong. The news would be a major shock, especially since no one really believed the elders when they explained about imprinting. Now they would have to face the possibility of Fate controlling an even bigger part of their lives. They would have to feel Leah's pain and anger through the pack mind, as if it were their own. They would see how their Alpha, being the coward that he was, hid from reality and the consequences of his actions. Sam couldn't imagine what their reaction would be. They were a bunch of unruly teenagers at the best of days. And Leah would be in no condition to help him rein them in. She would probably egg them on instead out of spite. What a nightmare! Sam had half a mind to curl up where he was and never leave the forest again or he could phase and run away never to be seen again. Anything really not to have to face the music when the news about his imprint break….

After a while Sam gave up on the useless daydreaming and gathered himself together to deal with the backlash of the news. "What is to come, will come…." he murmured with a sense of fatality and started on his way home. No matter how he wished for an escape, he would never abandon the tribe or the younger wolves. They were his to protect and to care. He might be a lot of things, mainly a coward, but he was never one to shy away from his responsibilities.

Sam was not too far from the reservation when he came face to face with another surprise in the form of Billy Black sitting in the middle of the clearing obviously waiting for someone. The way his face clouded over when he saw Sam answered the unasked question. Billy was there to talk to him and Sam wished he had taken another path home. Still it was too late for that now, so he braced himself for the scolding that was sure to come and went ahead to meet him.

"We need to talk Sam", Billy came straight to the point. He was never one to mince his words. "We have put off this conversation too long as it is."

Sam shifted uncomfortably and let out a long breath. He knew there was no escaping. Billy might look jovial most of the time, but he was relentless when it came to tribal matters.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say Billy….", his voice trailed off.

_Would Billy give up if he pretended that nothing is wrong? Nah, not in his lifetime!_

"Sam, are you listening to me?", Billy sounded annoyed and that was never a good thing.

_Focus Sam, now is not the time to drift away!_

Sam snapped up to attention grimacing. Billy had a way of making him feel like a pre-schooler caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"'I' m sorry, Billy…", he murmured and turned his eyes away, "It's just that things have been so hard lately…"

Billy sighed heavily and shook his head. He hated how the carefree teenagers had turned into soldiers overnight. Fate had really dealt them a lousy hand.

"Sam, I know it is difficult.", he tried again, "I've been waiting for days for you to come to me".

Sam whirled around and froze "You know?", he stuttered, "How could you possibly know?"

"You haven't been exactly discreet, Sam!" Billy laughed trying to diffuse the tension in the air. "Not to the ones who know what to look for anyway. I'm sure the boys don't have a clue" He hurried to continue seeing the panicked look on his face.

Sam took a deep breath to ease the pounding in his chest. He really didn't want to be there, not to mention having that conversation, but Billy would never let him off the hook that easy.

As if on cue Billy tried again, "I really wish you had come to me Sam…. "

"What could you possibly have done to help me, Billy?" Sam erupted and started pacing furiously. "You are not even wolves!" , he growled losing what little patience he had.

"The council keeps giving advice and acting like they know everything, but you don't know shit!" Sam stopped his pacing panting for breath and looked Billy straight to the eye.

"How could you understand what I am going through? How could you help me, Billy?", Sam felt his anger deflate abruptly, replaced by desperation. He fell on his knees too weary to care about the tears that filled his eyes. "No one can help.", he choked sobbing.

Billy closed his eyes for a moment and clenched his fists in frustration trying to gather his wits. It was so easy to forget that they were just boys! They may have grown rapidly into those huge strong bodies and act like men but they were still so young! How old was Sam, barely twenty and he had to take care of all the rest who were even younger and on top of that protect the tribe against vampires on a daily basis. With the added pressure of imprinting it was no wonder that he was falling apart. And what did the council do? They were heaping criticism and their expectations on the boys' shoulders sure that they could handle it because they had become wolves! Never in the past had Billy felt so ashamed of himself and his council brothers… They were all guilty of inaction and it was a disgrace how they had failed in their duty to protect and support the pack.

Sam's heartbreaking sobbing brought Billy back to reality. He chastised himself for getting distracted on a time like this, when helping Sam should be his first priority. There would be plenty of time for soul searching and appointing blame later. He wheeled closer to the fallen Alpha and gently put his hands on Sam's shaking shoulders squeezing lightly.

"It's ok Sam, let it all out", he whispered soothingly. It would be dangerous to startle him. Sam had lost control of his emotions and the wolf would be close to the surface, uneasy and ready to pounce at the first sight of danger. Still Billy would stay there regardless. It was high time someone would stand by those boys' side and make a real effort to help them shoulder the burden of their heritage.

They stayed like that for a long time; Sam crying the angry tears of a man who never cries and Billy offering the comfort of a fatherly embrace. If only there was more he could do…

Sam managed eventually to regain his control. He pulled himself away of Billy's arms embarrassed by his breakdown and put his game face on.

Sensing his embarrassment Billy hurried to reassure him before he had the chance to build his walls again and hide behind them. Now that he realized how much Sam was hiding behind his Alpha persona he was determined not to let him bottle everything up to the point of explosion.

"Don't be embarrassed, Sam. There is no shame in crying. Whoever thought of the notion that men don't cry, must be someone who had never felt pain or happiness in his life."

Sam stayed silent. What was there to say after all? He ranted and raved to an Elder, a totally unacceptable behaviour, even though there were things that needed to be said. He broke down and cried till he had no more tears; way to go, Alpha! Talking about his feelings was the last thing on his mind. He wanted to be left alone, but he had no more fight left in him. If Billy wanted to talk, they would talk. Still Sam was not particularly willing to spill more of his guts_. _

_One melt down a day was more than enough thank you very much!_

"All right, Sam…. I guess it's only fair, if I do the talking for now. I was the one to seek you out after all." Billy sighed and contemplated what he needed to say. It was obvious that Sam was not in a good place and he needed to choose his words carefully in order to reach him.

"It was not what I came out here to talk about, but your words made me think and this must be addressed before anything else."

He started leaning forward to be at kneeling Sam's eye level. "I feel that I need to apologise to you, Sam and your brothers too. We, the council I mean, did not give you any real help to deal with your heritage. We explained the legends when you changed and we left it at that, but it was not enough, was it Sam? You needed our support and our understanding. You needed us by your side, but we were not there. We told you to come to us for help, but we were not exactly approachable, were we Sam? "

"Billy…"

"Don't interrupt me, Sam. Some things need to be said and a man must realize his mistakes and make an effort to correct them! It would be very easy to hide behind our age or our status as members of the council, after all one must respect his elders, but that would make us cowards! We made a mistake in our dealings with the pack, a grave mistake and for that I am sorry. I promise you, Sam that I will speak with my council brothers as soon as we get home and we will correct it. Never again would any of you feel that he cannot come to us for help no matter the problem!"

"Thank you Billy." Sam's voice choked with emotion. He coughed and tried again. "This would mean the world to us. It is a struggle, considering that most of the pack cannot go to their parents and have to lie to them constantly."

"Sam, you shouldn't have to thank us for finally doing our duty. We should have thought of that earlier and not have let you alone to deal with the young ones. It really is a shame that we didn't."

Billy took a deep breath trying to ease the tension and gave Sam a thoughtful look. Was he stable enough to talk about the real issue that brought them there? Billy decided to broach the subject anyway; they had to have this talk before Sam's imprinting became public knowledge. And now that Leah knew the truth it would not take long.

"Sam, we have to talk about the elephant in the room, you know…"

"I know Billy…", Sam winced, "It doesn't make it any easier though…."

"I was planning to read you the riot act for not asking for help when you so obviously needed it, but we have covered that one already. So, we will not mention it again. It happened, it's over."

Sam visibly relaxed at that and muttered a quiet thank you.

"What we must focus on is the future." Billy made an impatient gesture and continued as if he had not heard him. "Sam, you must know by now that there is no way to ignore the imprint. You cannot fight it and you cannot break it. Not even death can break an imprint. If for some reason the imprintee dies, the wolf would follow sooner or later."

"I gathered that much…. Still, it would have been nice to know that beforehand." Sam's eyes grew distant in remembered pain. He accepted Billy's apology and didn't really mean to be sarcastic, but damn that had hurt!

"Yes, we should have prepared you better for the possibility of imprinting, but we thought it was so rare that it wouldn't be an issue. Another one of our shortcomings…" Billy shifted in his chair, but did not take his eyes of Sam's.

"What you must do is come to terms with your imprint. Then you have to talk to Bella. She is a smart girl; she already suspects something is going on. You won't be able to head her off for long. You must talk to her and explain everything, make her understand before Leah or someone else makes a hasty move and destroys your future with Bella."

"But Billy, how am I supposed to do that?" Sam snapped and got up unable to stay still any more. He resumed his pacing firing questions at every stop. "Bella is a great girl and yes, I have feelings for her, but why did it have to be Bella? I was with Leah, I loved her! Why didn't I imprint on Leah?"

"You think that it would be more natural to imprint on Leah. She is a wolf, she is Quileute, imprinting on her is what would be expected, right? It doesn't work this way though. Have you ever wondered why the wolf imprints?"

Sam stopped for a minute puzzled. "I thought imprinting happens to pass the wolf gene and create better wolves. It is a procreation thing, right?"

Billy closed his eyes pained. What a mess they had created! And it was all the council's fault. _How did they leave the boys unprepared and misinformed for so long?_ _How could they reason with themselves that leaving the pack on their own and hoping for the best was the way to go? _

"Billy, are you ok?"

Sam's worried voice startled him back to reality.

_Was he lost in thought for so long?_

He would have to have a serious talk with his council brothers about the pack, but now was not the time. He had to find a way to salvage this situation, reassure Sam and guide him to the right direction.

"No, Sam imprinting does not happen strictly for procreation. If it did, Leah would be the ideal choice for you. Imprinting has nothing to do with making stronger wolves for the next generation."

Billy paused for a minute to find the right words and make sure that Sam was listening. He didn't have to worry. Sam was rooted to the spot listening with bated breath.

"Imprinting is about finding the other half of your soul. Being a wolf means a hard life. It means fighting and sacrificing in order to protect the tribe, you have found that out already. Imprinting is supposed to make your life a little easier by pointing out your perfect match. Imprinting gives you the best possible mate for you; the one that will understand you and stand by you no matter what, the mate that will take care of you and support you. Imprinting makes no mistakes, it will give you the mate that is everything you need and in return the wolf will be everything the imprintee needs."

"Bella?"

It was only one word, but the emotion behind it brought tears in Billy's eyes.

"Yes, Bella. She is your mate. She will be everything you need to be the best wolf and the best man you can be to lead the pack successfully and have a normal happy life. In return you will be everything she needs to overcome the pain she's in right now and have the most fulfilling life. Together you will be the best you can be; apart you are both half o a person."

"I know now that Bella is my present and my future. I just wish….." Sam voice trailed off. He knew all too well that wishes were for dreamers, but he just couldn't stop himself.

"You wish that you could choose her. It doesn't sit well on you that there is some greater force making your choices for you, does it?" Billy smiled knowingly. "We call it fate, but really it's your wolf choosing his imprint not some unknown devious magic."

"But Billy! How can you call this a choice?" Sam was indignant and he made no effort to hide it.

"Sam, I said that it's your wolf that chooses and the wolf is a part of you. So yes, in a way you choose too."

"But why Billy, why? It only complicates things."

"Calm down, Sam. I am trying to explain to you, but you are not listening." Billy snapped losing his patience. "Now sit down and try to listen instead of yelling!"

Sam sat down breathing heavily_._

_It was easy for Billy to say calm down. He wasn't the one whose life was spinning out of control!_

He bit back the angry words with an effort. The logical part of his mind knew that Billy wasn't to blame, but he was exhausted by the roller coaster of emotion since Leah had barged in his house that morning. _Was it really only that morning?_

It felt like a lifetime had passed. And the wolf was howling in protest the whole time.

Billy eyed him worried; taunting an unstable wolf would not be good for his health at all. So he hurried to continue with his explanation.

"You are forgetting the nature of the wolf, Sam. Wolves are monogamous animals. Once they mate, it's for life. The same goes for you also, because the wolf is such a great part of you. Practically speaking, the wolf would never tolerate casual dating or even a steady relationship while you try to figure out if a girl is the one for you. Without imprinting the wolf would probably mate with the first girl you came in contact with and you can imagine what a disaster that could be. In the unlikely event that the wolf didn't imprint at first contact, dating different girls would rip him apart."

"I… I never thought of it like this", Sam stuttered overwhelmed by the barrage of information.

" Well, you won't have to. The wolf always knows his mate. Instinct leads him to his other half and keeps him away from all the others. And that is what imprinting is: the wolf's instincts overriding your human self in order to guide you safely to your soul mate."

"This is too much…", Sam murmured absently shredding the grass on his side, "It changes everything we knew about ourselves… I will have to talk with the pack."

He pulled the grass almost manically and started mumbling to himself, his voice rising with panic at each sentence. "I have to tell them about Bella…. And Leah….. I have to apologize to her somehow….. And explain to them about imprinting….. What am I supposed to tell them? "

"Easy Sam, try to calm down! Having a panic attack won't help matters. That's it! Take a deep breath… Let's take one step at a time. Keep breathing… "

Sam eased his grip on the grass and nodded sheepishly.

"First you need to tell your brothers that you imprinted on Bella. As for explaining to them you all share a mind, Sam, let them in and they will understand you. None of this is your fault anyway. Now Leah…. That is a completely different matter, but you will cross that bridge when you come to it. At this point you both need time to calm down. And Harry will talk to her…"

Billy winced at the thought of Leah. They would be stuck between a rock and a hard place with this one. She had every right to be upset; she certainly caught the raw end of the deal, but how to begrudge Sam the happiness he deserved? It was nobody's fault, but everyone would be in pain. Sometimes words are just not enough.

"And Bella?"

Sam sounded painfully eager and Billy hated to crash his hope, but he had to be the sensible one.

"Not yet," he whispered, "you can't tell her yet."

At Sam's incredulous look he cleared his voice and hurried to head off his protests.

"You need to stop fighting your wolf, accept him as a part of you and embrace him. I will not let an unstable wolf close to Bella. You also need to understand and accept the imprint before explaining any of this to her. I will not allow you to bring Bella into our world if you are not positive in your belief in the imprint." Billy gave him a long hard stare. "Are we clear on this, Sam? I love this girl as if she were my own and I will not budge on this."

"I would never do anything to hurt her. As if I could!" Sam scoffed at the thought. "She is far more likely to break me instead."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" Billy snapped gesturing wildly, "You need Bella, you even love her, but deep down you also resent her as if it's her fault you imprinted."

"I do not!" Sam cried indignantly. Of course h_e didn't resent Bella, did he?_

"You may not want to admit it but that doesn't make it any less true." Billy interrupted Sam's incoherent muttering. This was too important to sugar coat it for comfort. "Above else though you resent the wolf and yourself thinking that you should have prevented this somehow…"

Sam stared stonily at him but said nothing. What was there to say when his deepest secret was suddenly out for the world to see? He turned his eyes away and wished for the millionth time that evening he were somewhere else. Billy saw that reaction and felt his anger deflate. Perhaps he could have phrased that a little better; Sam was faced with enough shocks and revelations already. He put a hand on his shoulder in an effort to take the sting out of his harsh words and tried to be gentler

"Move on Sam. Accept the wolf in you and the imprint. You will not find peace, even with Bella by your side, until you do."

"Easier said than done... How am I supposed to do that, Billy? It's not as if I haven't tried already!" Sam lips twisted in a bitter smile. "By all means tell me how to do it!"

Billy frowned. He really did not want to do that, but he saw no other way. It was obviously his turn now to make a sacrifice for Sam's and in extension the pack's welfare. The boys had been making sacrifices for the tribe's protection for a while now. He turned back to Sam making his decision.

"I will give you my grandfather's journal to study. I should have done is as soon as you phased. It would have spared all of us a lot of trouble if I had. Forgive an old man, Sam. It was foolish of me to hold on to that book for so long, but I could bring myself to part with the only token of my wolf heritage… Yes, you must read the journal. You will find the answers you need there…."

Sam was speechless. Ephraim Black had left a journal and no one saw fit to inform the wolves of that little detail? He was about to explode with rage when he heard a wolf darting through the woods and stopped to see who was coming at such a speed.

A few seconds later Jake emerged through the trees panting heavily. He phased midstep not bothering with his clothes and ran to them obviously upset.

"You have to come back to the reservation both of you! Now!" Jake gasped out and collapsed next to them putting his head between his legs to catch his breath.

"What happened, Jake?" Sam was almost afraid to ask.

"Charlie came to our house and he was furious. He yelled at Bella for staying in La Push, something about ungrateful disrespectful daughters. He said that since she was ignoring her own father, he would send her to her mother back to Phoenix!"

Jake kept his eyes to the ground and Sam braced himself. What more could have possibly happened for Jake to feel so guilty?

"I promised Bella to be there for her but I didn't do anything." Jake muttered almost too low to be heard. "Charlie basically dragged her out of the house and I didn't dare do anything. I almost phased in front of them!" He clenched his fist and punched the ground hard swearing "What kind of friend does that make me?"

Above Jake's head Sam and Billy shared a horrified look ignoring him. Bella was not in La Push anymore?


	8. And three steps back

**AN:** I am finally back. Italics are thought as usual. Enjoy!

Bella took a deep breath and praying for patience as Renee started another one of her monologues.

She appreciated her mother's support, really she did, but how many times could one apologize before it became old news? And Renée had been apologizing for sending her to Forks for days, sniffling non-stop that she was a bad mother and promising to have a great time together from now on. At first Bella had tried to explain that nothing that had happened to Forks was her fault, but it was a wasted effort. Renée was enjoying being a martyr too much to listen to reason. So Bella decided very early that her best defense in order to keep her sanity, no matter how questionable, was to tune her out and nod occasionally in agreement.

And that's exactly what she did just then letting her mind drift back to that fateful day in La Push.

***Flashback***

_It was an ordinary day in the Blacks' household. Jake was nowhere to be seen as always and Billy had mysteriously disappeared mumbling something about getting things finally in order. Bella had paid him no particular attention deciding it was some kind of tribal business. She settled on the couch to wait for Jake to come back shuffling through the channels on their ancient television. _

_It was an unusually hot afternoon and the buzzing of the television combined with the warmth in the house had lulled Bella to sleep when the door opened with a loud bang almost coming off its hinges. Bella jumped up startled from the loud noise to come face to face with an enraged Charlie._

"_There you are!", he roared, " I should have known that I would find you here! Whenever I turn my head these days I always find you in the Reservation running after Jacob. But I will deal with you later, my dear daughter. Where is Billy? I've got a few things to say to him!" _

_Bella took a look at his face becoming more and more purple by the minute and bit her lip, not sure how to deal with his anger._

"_He is not here. He had some kind of business to take care of." She said softly._

"_How convenient!", Charlie sneered and made for the couch. "And what are you doing here Bella?"_

_Bella stood up alarmed by the crazed look in his eyes wishing desperately for someone to come and distract Charlie. For the first time in her life she was afraid of her father and it was not a nice feeling. _

"_I asked you a question Bella and I expect an answer!", Charlie raged, "What are you doing here in another man's house? I remember specifically telling you to stay in your room and contemplate your recent behavior. And what is it you do? The first chance you got you ran away to hide in the Reservation!"_

"_I wasn't hiding…" Bella stammered out, having no idea how to defuse the situation. Who was this man before her? She certainly didn't recognize him. Where was her loving father, friendly, easy going Charlie, and Billy's best friend? _

"_Do not tell me lies Isabella! I will not tolerate any more excuses for your behavior!" Charlie took another step forward as Bella stumbled back to the couch. "You are here in La Push again with no permission when you should have been home apologizing for your antics and begging for forgiveness!"_

"_Dad… " _

"_Do not call me your father! You have disobeyed my rules repeatedly, disrespected my wishes again and again and now you call me your father? I have welcomed you in my house and this is how you repay me? With lies and cheek? With defiance and disrespect?"_

"_Da… Charlie…. This is not true…." Bella whispered tears running freely on her face. _

"_Don't speak to me! I don't want to hear your voice. All you sputter are lies and lame excuses. First it was that Edward boy, running after him like a lost puppy and now that he's finally gone you are chasing after Jacob!"_

"_Dad…." _

_The moment Bella carelessly uttered that word, Charlie lost any hold he might have had on his self control and took the last step to the couch grabbing Bella by her hair._

"_I told you not to call me that! I don't have a daughter! No daughter of mine would behave like a common whore, jumping from one man to the next! But what was I expecting? You are just like your mother, an ungrateful bitch!" _

_Charlie spat with contempt and released Bella's hair, causing her to fall unceremoniously on the floor. Bella was in complete shock, her father had never before raised his hand against her. She scrambled to put some distance between them and curled in the corner crying. _

"_Wow Charlie, calm down man! What is going on?"_

_Jake's voice from the door startled them both. He took a hesitant step inside taking one look at the picture in front of him and deciding that he didn't like it all _

"_Jacob, this does not concern you." Charlie sneered clenching his fists. "How I deal with my daughter is my business."_

"_Charlie, you are obviously scaring her. Whatever is going on I'm sure…."_

"_Jacob Black, show some respect to your elders!" Charlie raged furious at the interruption. "I will not explain myself to you." He strode to the corner where Bella was curled and grabbed her arm pulling her to her feet. _

"_In fact, we have talked enough as it is. We are leaving. If Isabella cannot follow simple rules and show me the proper respect as her father, she is no longer welcome to my house."_

"_What do you mean?" Bella whispered fearfully as Charlie was dragging her to the door._

"_I am sending you back to your useless mother. An ungrateful, disrespectful daughter has no place in my house." _

"_You can't just send her away!" Jake said indignantly, thinking furiously of ways to stop Charlie. He could not let him take Bella when he was so obviously out of control, but what he could do. And his father was nowhere to be seen._

"_Of course I can send my seventeen-year- old daughter back to her mother if she doesn't behave." Charlie dismissed Jake's protestations and dragged Bella to the car._

"_Get in!" , he barked and pushed her to the passenger seat. "Your flight leaves in two hours."_

"_But my stuff…." Bella stuttered shocked trying to protest and waste some time hoping that Billy would show up and talk some reason to Charlie. Where was everybody anyway? Usually lots of people stopped by Billy's at all time of the day. _

"_I have packed all your shit. Now get in and close your mouth!" Charlie snapped closing the door with a bang. He walked over the car and got in._

"_Charlie, you cannot do this!" Jake yelled running to the car and planting himself in the middle of the driveway. Charlie ignored him and started the car backing up._

"_Jacob, get out of the way! He will kill you!" Bella screamed panicking as Charlie showed no sign of stopping before hitting him._

_Jake was desperate. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't let Charlie drive off, but he couldn't stay still and let the car crash him either, not that it would cause him much of damage but appearances had to be kept, especially with Charlie at that state. He searched his face noticing the crazed look in his eyes; he really would not stop, and admitted his defeat. There was nothing he could do. He closed his eyes for a moment and regretfully got out of the way mouthing "I am sorry" to Bella. _

_Jake stood for a minute watching the car pull away trembling with blind rage. Never before had he ever felt so powerless. Bella needed him and he had failed her. He clenched his teeth fighting for control but it was no use. He phased in the middle of the driveway not caring who might see him and bolted to the forest to find his elusive father._

*** End Flashback***

"Bella are you listening to me? You haven't heard a word I said!"

Renée's shrill cry brought Bella back to reality. Bella could see plain as day that Renée was genuinely worried and that made her anxious. There was something in her mother's nagging and apologies that set her teeth on edge. What was it though? And did she really want to know? She pressed her lips together deep in thought. Should she press Renée? Or was it something better left unsaid?

It all came down to this. Did she really want to know? And could she deal with more shocks? The confrontation with Charlie was ugly and had left her devastated. She still couldn't believe that cruel stranger, that abusive man was her father she knew and love all her life.

A father you loved but never got the chance to live with and really get to know….

_If only she could silence that small voice in her head that whispered hard truths she would rather forget!_

Now that she thought about it…

_God, why couldn't she just shut down her brain?_ Hadn't she had enough?

Renée never gave a good enough explanation for her refusal to set foot in Forks or let her daughter visit after the divorce. And to say that her behavior since Bella's return was suspicious would be an understatement. She kept apologizing but not even once had she asked what happened in Forks! Why did Renée feel the need to apologise? She wasn't even there when things fell apart, why would she feel guilty? And how could Renée, who was curiosity personified, contain herself and not ask what happened? Something was seriously wrong here…

"Bella… I wish you would talk to me…. I may be your mother, but I was young and in love once. You know you can talk to me, right?"

Bella shrugged and didn't bother answering; what was there to say anyway? She was never one to talk much, but that didn't seem to ever deter Rennee as she kept going as if she hadn't noticed Bella's absent-mindedness. Maybe she didn't.

"I have loved and lost. You probably can't see it right now, but it will get better and you will come to remember with fondness your time with Edward. First loves are almost always certain to crush and burn… "

_Edward? What about him? _

Bella was puzzled. What did Edward have to do with that mess? He was the last thing in her mind, which was really strange come to think of it_. _It was not so long ago thathis absence was killing her and then her pain had mysteriously disappeared. A curtain was lifted from her eyes and she was finally able to see her relationship with Edward as it really was, an abusive one. He never saw her as an equal; trying so hard to take care of her he refused her the right to make decisions about herself. Edward was molding her to his image of the perfect girlfriend and she was letting him! And to think that she really believed him to be her soul mate….

How did she end up so dependant of him anyway? Bella was really ashamed that she was willing to change herself so drastically to gain his approval. She used to find pathetic these girls who cling on their man and can't exist on their own for god's sake! And she became one of them…. She saw the truth though. It took her a while but no matter what Renée seemed to think, she was over Edward Cullen. Never again would he be important enough to cause her pain. No it was not Edward making her so restless.

All she could think of these days was the green of La Push. It was kind of ironic really, when she first arrived in Forks all she wanted was to be back in sunny Arizona and now that she had returned what was she doing? When she wasn't agonizing over the confrontation with Charlie, her mind always wandered back to La Push….. and Sam.

She missed him. Sam was always on her mind. She missed seeing him, spending time with him. She missed the soothing sound of his voice, when they would sit on the beach and talk for hours. She missed the safety she always felt, when he kept her in his arms. And his eyes… His eyes were haunting her. She dreamt of those dark eyes only to wake up trembling in cold sweat. Every night he was there in her dreams, as if he was trying to tell her something. ..

If she didn't know any better she would think that she was falling for Sam, but that was of course ridiculous. Sam was there for her during the most difficult time of her life. He listened to her rant and rave making a complete fool of herself and he never judged her or pitied her. He just stood by her side providing understanding and a shoulder to cry on. Sam had become a very good friend somewhere along the way. She couldn't imagine how she could have possibly survived Edward's betrayal had Sam not been there. She didn't understand how or why but Bella knew that she needed sam in her life. The mere thought of him not being close to her brought a tightening in her chest and tears in her eyes. Sam just had to be there by her side. Anything else was simply not acceptable. But certainly that didn't mean anything. Everybody needed their friends close. Thinking herself in love with Sam was just asking for trouble.

And what would Sam think if he could see those ridiculous thoughts? He never gave her the tiniest sign of having any feeling towards her beyond friendship. He would be mortified for sure that she took his friendship and support and blew them up out of proportion to fancy herself in love with him.

And what was wrong with her anyway? How could she love a guy, no matter how unhealthy that love was for her and then her feelings to suddenly change and the next day to love another? Surely that was not normal behavior! She couldn't possibly love Sam. She must not be in her right mind to think that! She had to take these ludicrous thoughts out of her head as soon as possible!

"Bella! You are zoning out again. I am trying to talk to you and I bet you haven't heard a word! "

"Actually, I have been listening and to answer your question I am not pining for Edward anymore. Happy now?" Bella 's voice dripped of sarcasm. She was tired of that conversation and she made sure to show it. Renée was not known for taking subtle hints after all.

"You are over Edward? Really? When did that happen? Why didn't Charlie say anything?"

Renée didn't even pause to take a breath between questions and Bella groaned. That was obviously the wrong thing to say. She had piqued Rennee's interest and she would not stop the interrogation any time soon.

"Yes, mother. I am over Edward. I finally realized that he was not good for me." Bella was trying to be patient, but she wasn't sure for how long she could hold it. She didn't want to talk about Edward and she definitely didn't want to talk about Charlie.

_Thank God, Renée knew nothing about Sam! _

"But Bella, when… When did this happen? How?" Renée was stuttering clearly surprised by the turn of events. "You didn't get out of your room for months and then you spent all your time in La Push with Jake."

Renée paused to take a good look at Bella that made her shiver and brace herself. The mischievous glint in Renée's eyes told her of nothing good.

"Did anything happen with Jake?"

_What has gotten into Renée anyway? Usually, she would ask a question or two, I would answer with a couple "I'm fines" and she would be satisfied that she had done her motherly duty and leave me alone._

"No mother, nothing happened with Jake. You know that I've always thought of him as a younger brother." Bella shuddered at the thought of a romantic relationship with Jake; they weren't actually related but it still felt like incest to her.

"What is going on with you then?" Renée was relentless and Bella's patience was really running thin with all this questioning.

"For God's sake Renée, why must a guy be responsible for my getting over Edward? I may not have acted like that recently, but I am totally capable to be happy without a man in my life."

The unspoken unlike you was obvious in the air between them. And it was kind of harsh of her, even hypocritical given her recent fiasco with Edward, but Bella was exasperated with this useless questioning. It was not as if Renée had the best track record concerning relationships to base her advice. Not to mention that it was not like her to even notice Bella's problem and offer support. Bella might be cynical but Renée's interest was too little too late for her.

"Oh, please Bella! Do you really expect me to believe that?" Renée scoffed. "You may think you are above us weak females, but your recent behavior betrays you my darling daughter."

_And here is the Renée we all know and love, condescending and ashamed of the ugly duckling that was her daughter. _

Bella smiled bitterly. Some things did not change after all and Renée was one of them. She would always feel disappointed that her daughter took nothing of her charm and she would never hesitate to throw it back to Bella's face.

"Unless you met someone else in La Push….. " Renée murmured almost to herself and as soon as the thought registered, she blanched and turned sharply to Bella. "Is that it? Did you meet somebody else in La Push?"

Bella shrugged and gave no answer. She would be damned if she told Renée about Sam and gave her more ammunition to use against her. The facade of the worried caring mother was apparently over, not that Bella really believed in it.

"Bella answer me! Did you meet anybody new in La Push?" Renée's panicky voice made Bella blink.

_Why on earth would her meeting someone from La Push bring Renée to such a state? Something is really wrong here…_

"Bella, I am dead serious here. Did you meet anybody new while in La Push?" Renée was practically hyperventilating by now. She grabbed Bella by her arms and shook her hard. "Tell me you didn't!"

Bella took a step back to free herself from Renée's grip. She should have been afraid by the crazed look in her eyes and her weird behavior but she was not. She felt curiously detached from what was going on. She had her suspicions since she arrived in Phoenix that something was wrong and Renée confirmed it with every word she said or didn't say.

_To hell with caution! Enough with the mysteries, the lies and the secrets!_

Bella decided to end that weird game and push Renée over the edge. She needed to get some answers.

"And what if I did, Renée? What difference does it make to you?"

"You actually did it." Renée whispered defeated. "Of all the men in the world you just had to choose someone from la Push!" She closed her eyes and murmured something, a prayer for strength guessed Bella oddly amused with the situation.

"Tell me his name." Renée demanded having collected herself, but Bella had had enough. It was time to get some answers. She looked Renée straight in the eye and smiled defiantly.

"No, you tell me what is going on here! Why meeting somebody from La Push is such a big deal? Why do you need his name so desperately? It's not as if you know that many people in La push."

"Bella! Do not test me on this. Start talking, or else!"

"Or else what?" Bella saw Renée sputtering and went on taunting her. "You didn't really think that I had it in me to defy you, did you? I faced Charlie's wrath more than once and lived to tell the tale. Your threats don't scare me one bit, dear mother."

Renée looked at her daughter like she saw her for the first time. Yes, it was obvious that Bella was not afraid or even worried about her. This was not the girl she sent to Forks. This Bella was stronger, determined to get to the bottom of this and ready to burn all bridges if need be.

In a rare moment of clarity Renée realized two things:

Firstly, her little girl had finally grown up to the woman she was meant to be. Still, she was a stranger to her and it was all her fault for having pushed her away. For the first time in years Renée felt guilty for the way she had raised her daughter, rejecting her at every turn because she was not more like her. It was too late though. Bella had to practically raise herself because Renée was not there for her, blinded by her vanity and pride and she would not accept her mother back now.

And secondly, Bella would not back down on this argument. She would push and push till she got her answers and that was a thought that chilled her to the bone. Renée would have no choice but to admit the truth that she tried so hard to keep hidden all those years. And the fallout of this revelation terrified her. Charlie had obviously realized the truth at some point and decided not to talk, but he would go ballistic if it ever became public knowledge. And Bella… Their relationship was non-existent as it was, how would she react if she knew everything? Not to mention all the other people involved in this mess….

_Why Bella? Why did you have to become so brave all of the sudden? Everything would be so much easier if you had let things go. Some truths are better left unsaid…._

"Bella, don't do this please…." Renée was not above begging at this point, anything to get her out of this tight spot without having to tell the truth. "Please tell me the boy's name and stop asking questions…. You don't know what you are going to unleash. Bella, please…."

"No." Curt and to the point, Bella killed her last hope with that one word. "No more secrets, Renée. Whatever it is you are hiding and I'm starting to have a terrible suspicion about what it could be, it ends here. Tell me what is going on."

Renée closed her eyes surrendering to the inevitable. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to look Bella straight in the eye.

"Remember, you asked for this…" , she whispered hoping against hope that even now Bella would back down. She didn't. "Bella baby…. I don't know how to say this to you…. I had hoped that you would never have to find out…. Bella please….!"

Bella gave her a cold look that spoke volumes.

"Just get on with it.", she spat. "It's too late now for regrets."

"Charlie is not your father." Renée choked and started sobbing. "I am sorry baby…."

Bella squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists.

"I should have known", she mumbled, "What else would have driven Charlie to the point where he couldn't even lay his eyes on me? And all that rage…. He practically told me everything, but I couldn't connect the dots. "

"I'm sorry, so sorry Bella…"

Bella dismissed her apology with a wave of her hand and turned away.

"Who is my father?"

"Bella… Please… Charlie is your father. He raised you." Renée was grasping at straws and she knew it.

"You got to be joking." Bella hissed and turned abruptly glaring at her. "Charlie raised me as his own, because you lie to him and now that he knows the truth he hates me as much as he hates you, perhaps even more.

"That's not true!" Renée wailed still refusing to give up on her illusions.

"For God's sake! You can't just expect me to let things be and not ask." Bella's voice was rising incredulously with every word. She stepped closer to Renée and smirked mockingly.

"Wasn't it you, my dear mother, who was worried that I might be screwing my own brother?"

Renée's eyes opened comically having obviously forgotten with all the drama what brought them to this confrontation in the first place, but said nothing.

"Tell me who my father is!" Bella demanded in a harsh tone. "I will not ask again. I will just go to the Tribal council of the Quiletes and state my case. I'm sure they could find out. "

Renée turned deathly white at the threat. She couldn't tell if Bella was serious about going to the council but she couldn't risk it.

_Game, set and match Bella… I 'll tell you what you want to know and God help us all…_

"Lahote. I…. I don't know his first name…." Renée whispered brokenly.

_She doesn't even know his first name? What the ….? Never mind, I so don't need to know about my mother's sex life past or present! _

"Paul's father then…." Bella was lost in thought trying to remember anything that Sam might have told her about Paul and his family that she missed Renée's horror-stricken expression.

"Bella!" Renée gasped not finding the words to utter such an unthinkable possibility.

Bella stared at her curiously for a moment before realizing what exactly she was trying to ask. She toyed with the idea of just leaving without answering; she could always call in an hour or two, but decided to show some mercy.

"I haven't met Paul Lahote yet, but I am planning to."

"What do you mean?" Renée was almost too afraid to ask.

"I mean that I will pack my things and return to la Push with the first available flight. It seems that I have some unfinished business to take care of. " Bella answered already on the move to the door.

"You can't do that! I won't let you!"

"And what makes you think you can stop me?" Bella paused at the door and glanced at her mother questioningly.

"I am your mother!" Renée exclaimed as if that explained everything.

"I have nothing else to say to you. One way or the other I will go to La Push. You can even call Charlie, though I doubt he would raise a finger to do anything about it. He has washed his hands of us, that much is clear. The fact is that in a few months I will be eighteen years old and you will have no say in what I do. Till then you can either accept the fact that I ran away or you can call the police to drag me back and announce nationwide why I left. It's your choice, I guess."

And with that Bella walked out of the door leaving Renée and the past behind her. Bella Swan had finally taken her future into her own hands.


	9. Desperate Wolves

While the storm was brewing in Phoenix, La Push had already reached the point of no return multiple times.

When Sam first heard the news of Bella's departure he point-blank refused to believe it. The moment the words were out of Jake's mouth he phased trying to catch her scent and sprinted to the Black's house ignoring Billy's frantic pleas to stay calm and Jake's bewildered questions. Finding no one there he followed Bella's scent straight to the airport where he naturally lost any whiff of her.

The realization that Bella was really gone hit Sam very hard.

_How could fate be that cruel to take Bella away from him, before he even got the chance to really have her?_ _I mean, it was fate herself that pushed him to Bella in the first place! Sam was perfectly content while he was with Leah, thank you very much!_

He collapsed right there in the airport barely having the presence of mind to keep himself out of sight.

_A huge wolf howling in pain was bound to catch attention after all. _

Things got only worse from there. Sam was paralyzed in agony. He stayed phased in the woods close to the airport not able to conceive the sudden turn of events. Jared and Paul went to retrieve him but no amount of reasoning or pleading was enough to coax him in his human form and back to La Push. Sam was determined to just stay there holding on to whatever comfort Bella's fainting cent could bring him. And it was not much; his wolf was clawing to break free and run after his mate, enraged that he was denied the chance to claim her. Keeping him in check was getting more and more difficult by the minute and Sam was fighting a losing battle to stay in control. In the end Jared and Paul had to bully Sam into changing back and unceremoniously hauled him off to La Push. The mere fact that Sam was able to restrain the wolf long enough to be dragged back was a testament to his inner strength and control. Alpha wolves are meant to issue orders not obey them; that's why they are Alphas after all.

Not that it did him any good, being home that is. As the days went by Sam found it a struggle to get up every morning and function normally. Bella was always on his mind. That wasn't something new; from the minute he imprinted on her, he carried her within him: a presence in his mind, a tattoo on his heart, a drug in his bloodstream… There was no escape; imprinting was a very accurate term he had to admit. But it was different now that she wasn't within his reach. He worried about her constantly, a crippling agony that made anything else insignificant.

_Was she ok? Had Charlie hurt her? Where was she? What was she doing? Did she think about him at all?_ _Would she ever be back? Bella…_

Her absence was causing him physical pain. It was like somebody had ripped his heart out of his body and then put salt on the open wound. A huge vice was crushing his chest making it impossible to breathe. And it only got worse as the days went by. He longed to run after her but he was bound by his oath to stay in La Push. His wolf kept acting up divided between his need to protect the tribe and their lands and the need to find and claim his mate. Something had got to give, and it was not going to be the wolf.

Sam ended up spending more and more time as a wolf claiming that he could kind of feel her in that form. Consumed in his pain and grieving he retreated into his shell not caring about anything besides his missing imprint. Not even the pack could reach him and spending time in his mind was pure torture for the rest of the boys, who had to deal with Leah's situation too.

As a result, the pack was almost in ruins. The news of the imprint had shocked everybody beyond belief. Imprinting was supposed to be rare, an old wives' tale really, and the wolves were not prepared to deal with the possibility that they could imprint at any time with no warning whatsoever. Hadn't they sacrificed enough for the tribe? To have to give away whatever little freedom they had left and accept that fate would choose their mate was like a slap in the face. The wolves felt betrayed and the Council's fumbled explanations did not convince them otherwise.

They were also hurt and angry that their Alpha had not trusted them with such important news.

_They were supposed to be brothers. How could Sam keep secret something like that? They had a right to know dammit! Imprinting affected them all apparently, not to mention that it would change everything when it came to pack dynamics… _

Another sore point among the pack was the fact that nobody noticed that something was going on with Sam…

_They lived in each other's minds for God's sake, shouldn't someone have noticed something?_

No one could understand how Sam was able to hide the truth for so long. And he was in no condition to talk rationally about it and explain his reasons or apologize.

Having to also feel Leah's heartbreak was not helping matters, as everybody suddenly felt that they had to take a side. Tempers flared and things began to get out of control as the pack was divided for the first time.

Patrols were neglected and fights became an everyday occurrence. La Push was reaching boiling point; angry teenage wolves were roaming the place and no one was able to control or restrain them as the Alpha was completely incapacitated by grief and beyond anyone's reach. The Council was getting desperate. They tried to reprimand the pack in a vain effort to control the situation, but they only managed to further enrage the wolves. The Council had lost the pack's respect and their peas fell on deaf ears. The wolves would simple not listen and even go out of their way to spite the Council members.

It was Leah the one who finally stepped forward to rain in the pack. She put aside her personal feelings and gathered the disgruntled wolves to read them the riot act. Leah spared no one's feelings and reminded the pack that they were Protectors and not spoilt infants. No one heard what was said as it was mostly a mental conversation, but the wolves were shamed into submission. They pulled themselves together and started behaving somewhat. It was not a perfect solution by any means, but Leah managed to gain a minimal control over the rebelling teens.

The fact that Leah stepped forward to control the pack did not mean that she was ready to forget and forgive, not by any stretch of the imagination! She was of course heartbroken. Not only did she have to deal with the shock of finding out that imprinting actually existed and all that would come out of it, but also with the pain of losing her lover.

_Why was she not good enough for Sam? They had shared everything for so long. How was she supposed to go on without him?_

Her world fell apart without a minute's notice and she could do nothing about it. Her love for Sam, the time they had spent together, the dreams they made for their future didn't mean a thing because fate had decided differently.

Leah was furious and she made sure that everybody in La Push knew it. She was angry with Sam for hurting and betraying her. He should have fought for her; they had been together for years! He owed her that much.

_Did she mean so little to him that he just gave her up?_

She was livid with anger at the world for dealing her such a bad hand.

_Why did that have to happen to her? What made that Bella girl a better choice?_

She was seething that the Elders dared to look at her with pity in their eyes and expressing sympathy while they did nothing to help or warn her when it would have made a difference.

_If that wasn't a betrayal, she didn't know what was. And to think that it was her own father, that left her hanging!_

She was also angry with her pack brothers for using her pain as an excuse to rebel against their duties. Whether they were with her or against her, she did not care. That mess was between Sam and her, a personal matter and the fact that they all had to share a mind did not give them the right to get involved and divide the pack.

_Nothing was private she got that, but to rebel in her name; that was just insane! It's not as if they really cared about her, they simply wanted to make trouble. _

And it was that thought that made Leah push aside her feelings in order to rain in the pack. _She would not allow anyone to use her as an excuse. Her pain was her own dammit!_

But above anything else Leah was angry with herself. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop caring about Sam. She would tell herself again and again that he was not worth her time or consideration, but her traitorous heart did not listen.

When she first realized what it was she was seeing in Sam's mind she phased back and swore that she would never become a wolf again if that meant staying out of his mind.

_Seeing him loving and longing and suffering for another woman once was enough, thank you very much! She was not a masochist. _

He had just broken her heart; she did not care if he was in pain himself. He could rot in hell for all she cared! Leah refused to be reasonable or sympathetic. Or at least she tried to be. She tried really hard to keep her promise and ignore everything about Sam, but the fact was that Leah still loved him. She didn't want to and she would never admit it even under torture, but she did. She made a valiant effort and actually managed to hang in there for a couple of days, but in the end she caved in and phased.

_She was a wolf after all, why should she deny her own nature because of a man? _

_No, she did not have a temper and no, she did not still care about Sam! That was her defense anyway and she would stand by it no matter what._

And once she phased she couldn't hold back any more. She would check up on him from time to time and endure the agony he was projecting through the pack mind to make sure that he was still there. She worried that he would do something desperate to escape his pain. And Sam was not really there, she had to admit. He still roamed the forests around La Push in his wolf form, but he was slowly losing his hold on reality. Leah worried that he would surrender completely to his wolf; no one knew what could happen to him in that case, but considering that Sam had no will to fight or live without his imprint the prospects were not good.

So Leah kept watching him despite his pain and her pain. It hurt her to see in his mind how much he loved that other girl, but she couldn't help herself. She was oddly fascinated by the imprinting process and she would have loved to thoroughly study it had she not been so directly involved. Leah had always been too curious for her own good and this situation was not different.

Little by little she managed to get enough information from Sam's tortured mind to piece together what must have happened. She was able to watch a play-by-play of everything what happened from the night Sam found Bella in the woods till the moment Charlie grabbed her and drove off La Push. For the first time since all this mess had started she was able to think rationally and sympathize with him.

It hurt to realize that she never had a chance but it was also a relief finding out that Sam did not really betray her, that he fought for her before he crumbled under the pressure of imprinting. She felt Sam's emotions all along the line and she was humbled by the amount of pain he had to endure in order to deny the imprint. She was floored by his struggle to remain loyal to their relationship and was ashamed to admit that she wouldn't have lasted that much in his shoes.

She finally understood the reasoning behind Sam's seemingly random actions and was shocked to realize that she did not really know him as well as she thought. Never in all the years she knew Sam had she realized how deeply his father's leaving had affected him. They had been friends since childhood and lovers for years, but she never got a glimpse of Sam's abandonment issues.

_Really, what did that say for their "perfect" relationship? To think that she used to brag to anyone who would listen about their fairy tale romance….._

For the first time since all this mess had started Leah was starting to understand the wisdom behind the imprint. It was brutal to force the wolves' feelings that way and it was inhumane the way it disregarded all previous connections, but even Leah was hard pressed to admit that maybe Fate knew what she was doing. She reluctantly admitted that she probably wasn't the best person for Sam after all. Leah knew herself all too well and she was honest enough to admit, if only to herself, that she could not deal with Sam's issues. She wasn't patient enough to soothe his pain and heal his soul. Not to mention that she didn't have the slightest clue where he was coming from.

_Not that it mattered anymore…. Sam was lost to her…. _

_She only hoped that Swan girl would be what Sam needed._

Leah was a practical person. Once she understood what imprinting was all about, she knew that there was no hope left for her. After everything she had seen in Sam's mind she couldn't hold on to her anger anymore. She let go of her thoughts of revenge and concentrated on moving on.

She would have to apologize; the things she said to Sam were pretty unforgivable.

She would also have to explain to the rest of the pack what was really going on with Sam, smooth their ruffled feathers and restore their trust in him. The ties within the pack have to be repaired before some leech slipped right under their noses and walked straight to La Push.

And of course she would have to find a way to help Sam… He was losing himself day by day, surrendering control to the animal inside him. He couldn't go on like this indefinitely. His wolf had gone feral lately; there was no telling when he would snap. Something had to be done and quickly, before Sam became a danger to himself and to the reservation.

_But what could she do?_

_Should she try to find Bella Swan? _

_And tell her what?_

Leah's mind was spinning in circles. It was such a responsibility, what if she did something wrong?

_How does Sam do it every day and make it seem effortless?_

She had already more or less taken over the pack and the Council was relieved and thankful; the other wolves not so much. But what about Sam? No one seemed to care about Sam and that was unacceptable. It was really pathetic how everyone did not even give him a second thought in his time of need when Sam sacrificed everything to protect the tribe and take care of the pack. Leah was honest enough to admit that she was the one to blame mostly.

Blinded by shock and pain she got carried away and let things get too far. She not only accused him of betrayal and said terrible things to him, but she also tried and succeeded to physically hurt him - the fact that he pretty much stood there and let her do it did not excuse her. She encouraged with her attitude the other wolves to defy him in the beginning. It was not intentional, but for a long time she did nothing but screaming obscenities and bringing up memories better left unsaid. Was it really a surprise that the rest of the wolves, teenage wolves one might add, took their cue from her and started acting up?

And what did the Council do? They stood aside and did absolutely nothing! Why anyone ever thought them as wise old men that had the tribe's as a whole and every individual's best interest at heart was beyond her. They made one mistake after the other since Sam phased. They might have been shocked to see the revival of the pack under their watch, but that did not excuse the fact that they kept making the same mistakes thinking that they knew best and never took any responsibility for them till it was too late to change anything. They failed to take care of the pack and they failed to support her and Sam when it mattered the most.

_Wise old men my ass ,they were a bunch of useless fools if she ever saw one! _

In the end Leah resigned herself to the fact that anything that needed to be done that she would have to do it herself. And she swore that she would do it no matter what. She would rope in the rest of the wolves and together they would take care of their Alpha for a change. It was time to remember that they were a family and act accordingly.

She was hurting still, but she would have to deal with it. And if Sam's happiness meant that she would have to welcome that girl to the pack, so be it. The rest of the wolves would follow her lead and also accept her, leech-lover or not. What other choice did they actually have? It was painfully obvious that Sam would not survive for long without his imprint. He was strong all right, but no one was that strong to withstand that kind of pain constantly.

_Yes, they had to do something. But what? _

Who knew where Bella Swan was at that moment and Leah did not even want to think of the possibility that she would have moved on to some other man. Sam would probably kill him before dying himself in agony.

_For Taha Aki's sake, why did Charlie have to flip out and ship Bella out of La Push just when things were starting to straighten out?_

_So, priority number one: Find Bella Swan. And tell her what exactly? _

_Sorry, but you have to defy your father and come back to La Push because Sam is a werewolf and cannot live without you?_

_Yeah, that would go well, if she doesn't cart the messenger to a mental hospital!_

Leah was at a standstill. She was dammed if she did search for the girl; she would more likely drive her to run for the hills, and dammed if she didn't; Sam would not last for long in the hope that she might return one day.

_What a mess…. What a fucking mess!_

What Leah could of course not have known was that Bella Swan was already on her way to La Push ready to take them all by storm, while somewhere in the forest a lone wolf signed with relief as the vice clenching his chest eased some… Fate smiled mischievously; was there really any doubt that things would work out the way she had planned? 


	10. Crossroads

Bella got off her bike at the edge of the woods and stared at the road sign directing people to La Push. She had finally made it; she was there at the only place she ever felt that she belonged. She left the bike and took a few steps off the road taking deep breaths to fill her lungs with the distinct air that was all La Push: fresh pine and sea salt, she would recognize that smell anywhere.

_How she had missed being in La Push! All she could think about those long days in Phoenix was that luscious green… _

She dropped her backpack and stood against a tree closing her eyes and letting her senses absorb the fact that she was finally there.

It had been a difficult trip…

_***Flashback***_

She had stormed to her room after hearing the shocking news with Renée right on her heels. She was randomly throwing stuff in her suitcase needing to get out of the house as soon as possible while Renée was crying and begging her to stay. Bella ignored her.

_What more was there to say? What could possibly make things better? _

Renée of course thought differently. She went from crying to screaming and threatening in a matter of minutes. For all her erratic, irresponsible behavior Renée always found a way to get what she wanted. When she saw that tears and laying a guilt-trip on Bella would get her nowhere she switched to anger and threats. Bella was under age after all; she would have to do what her mother wanted. Phil tried to mediate but with little success. No one could make Renee change her mind when she got in one of her moods and she even had a valid excuse for that particular crusade.

_She was trying to save her daughter from the misery of living in a godforsaken little town or even worse the Quileute Reservation! Because she knew her daughter; the first thing she would do was to run back there and get involved with them!_

In the end Bella was forced to stay in Phoenix for the next couple of weeks till her eighteenth birthday. It was excruciating and pointless as Renée was wavering between begging Bella to reconsider and scolding her every chance he got. Her bike was the result of one of those begging fits, bought with Phil's money of course in the hope that it would entice Bella to stay in Phoenix.

_How little did her own mother know her! It would be hilarious if it wasn't so depressing..._

But Bella was done with Renée. She shrugged her shoulders and accepted the bike, because it would be stupid to deny herself something she always wanted on principle. But that did not change anything regarding her decision. It was not as if Renée would change overnight and start to care for someone else, i.e her daughter, except for herself.

_She was the responsible adult in that relationship and practically raised her mother along with herself__. Enough is enough dammit!_

Bella was done with being the nice girl that always put everyone else's happiness before her own. This time she was determined to do the right thing for herself and that meant going back to La Push and dealing with all the things that were left unsaid.

So Bella tuned out her mother's ranting the best she could and endured the following couple of weeks keeping her mind on her goal to escape the first chance she got.

On the morning of her eighteenth birthday Bella woke up smiling for the first time in weeks. She packed a backpack; said her goodbyes and drove off ignoring Renée's enraged screeching.

_Why that woman thought that she would stay put a minute longer than she absolutely had to, was beyond her. But then again, that's Renée for you. She wants something and she expects everybody to bend over so that she can have it._

Bella decided to drive her bike to La Push instead of shipping it there and catching a plane. It would certainly be a long drive but she felt that she needed the time. It seemed like forever since the last time she had some time alone. During her stay in Phoenix even before things got so awkward she never had a minute for herself. Renée was determined to play the role of the dedicated mother and tried to cram in a few weeks' time months of mother and daughter bonding experiences as she had missed her precious girl terribly, no matter that during the months that Bella was in Forks she never once picked up the phone to call said precious girl. And then the skeletons in the closet were out for all to see and Renée got desperate and started stalking Bella and badgering her relentlessly in her campaign to keep her away from Washington.

Bella found it necessary to spend some time alone before she arrived in La Push to tickle sleeping dragons. It was a cathartic process driving through states with the wind on her face and shedding one by one the baggage that kept her down all her life.

Somewhere along the way Bella managed to make her peace with her past. She finally accepted that Renée was a self – centered, superficial woman who never really cared about her but still took her away from the man she thought to be her father because it would make her look bad if she left her only child behind. Not to mention that it was the best revenge against Charlie… First you take his child away and then, after he has suffered the loss for some time you tell him that it wasn't his child after all!

_Is it really a surprise that he is so bitter__? Who wouldn't be?_

Bella wasn't sure when exactly Charlie found out the truth and it wasn't really important in the grand scheme of things. What mattered was that she understood now his reactions and even sympathized a bit. She couldn't really forgive the way he treated her right before he sent her away, but at least she could see where he was coming from… kind of. She would have to talk to him at some point. There were still things she needed to know.

_Why did he accept her in the first place when __Renée asked him to take her? Why did he not just say no? Was it that important to him to keep up appearances?_

No one would blame him for refusing to take in a child that wasn't his, but he would have to actually come out and say it.

_And for God's sake what was __Renée thinking when she decided to send her to Forks? Was she even thinking? _

Somehow Bella doubted that. Renée had a unique talent to tune out the truth when it did not suit her. It was that and her total luck of common sense that made her think that she could actually get away with this. Keeping the truth hidden while they were in Phoenix was one thing; Charlie had accepted that particular reality long ago and was content to let things be. But sending Bella back to Forks was a completely different matter. It was bound to stir up trouble, but of course Renée wasn't really thinking anything beyond her convenience.

And there was the fact of her unknown father…

_Who was the man that had given her half of her genes? _

Renée had revealed his name under pressure fearing that Bella could be getting involved with her own brother, but she composed herself afterwards and refused to utter a single word about that. Bella asked her repeatedly, but got no answers. She even tried to provoke her hoping that Renée might reveal something else in the heat of the moment, but she had no luck.

_Maybe __Renée did not know anything but his last name. She was more that capable to have had a one – night stand with a man whose first name she did not know._

Bella had learned that the hard way. She still shuddered with revulsion every time she remembered the endless string of boyfriends that got in and out of Renée's life before she settled down with Phil.

_Or maybe __she had just clammed up and refused to speak out of resentment and sheer stubbornness. Who could tell when it came to Renée?_

Bella realized that she had no way of knowing. Some of her questions would never be answered and for the rest of them she would have to wait until she got to La Push.

_One more reason to get back sooner than later…_

The pull to La Push was getting stronger and stronger every day. It was a weird feeling like something was calling her back urgently. Bella ended up speeding through more than half of the trip. Self discovery was good and all, but she felt that she needed to be there and that made her anxious. She has always felt connected to La Push, well she knew the reason now; she actually did belong there, but this feeling wasn't like anything she had ever felt before. _Did it really make such a difference that now she was finally aware of her Quileute blood binding her to the land and the Reservation?_

Because that was exactly how she felt. She knew beyond doubt that she would never be able to turn her back to La Push. Whatever bond she had to that land before, it had grown ten times now that she knew the truth. Blood does speak apparently. Even if Paul never accepted her as his sister she would still try to build her life in La Push.

Paul…. Her brother…. She still couldn't believe that somewhere out there she had a brother.

_What was he like? Was he older or younger than her? How would he take the news of having a sister? Would he like her? _

She had always longed for a sibling, someone to play and laugh with and someone to stand by her side when things got hard. She never got it of course and as she grew older she stopped wishing for one.

_If, God forbid, Renée had ever got pregnant, she would have probably got rid of it or maybe pass the baby to Bella and forget all about it!_

But now, that she knew that she actually had a brother that old dream had woken up with a surprising ferocity. Bella wanted to spend time with Paul, get to know him and build a relationship with him. She wanted them to become a family. But first of all, she had to meet him…. And that meant that she had to get to La Push.

_Funny how everything that mattered __to her was in that tiny bit of land…_

Bella couldn't wait to get there. It seemed that her life was in La Push now.

***End of Flashback***

Bella opened her eyes and shook herself of her daydreaming. She slid down the tree till she met the ground and sat with her back against it. She was finally there and now she had to decide what her next step was going to be.

_Staying in the for__est was obviously not an option; she had to get to the Reservation and start talking to people, but who should she go to first? _

She should probably talk to Sam first… He was her best friend after all and she trusted his opinion.

_How she had missed Sam these weeks in Phoenix! _

Yeah…. She should go to Sam and spend some time with him before tackling the issue of her heritage. She would need his strength and unwavering support in the days to come. She would tell him everything and ask for his advice. Sam was a good listener and had always stood by her side. He knew Paul and could give her some insight into his character. He could even introduce them. This way it would be less awkward than ringing Paul's doorbell and introducing herself like his sister.

Is that the only reason you can't wait to run to Sam?

_What? Of course! Sam was her best friend! _

Keep telling yourself that, if it gets you through the night…

_Oh__, how she hated that small voice in her head that whispered hard truths she would rather forget!_

Maybe Sam wasn't the best choice after all… It was painful to admit, but Bella was never one to lie to herself, not deliberately anyway…

_How could she face Sam with all these jumbled thoughts in her head? Did she really have feelings for Sam? _

No, not Sam then… Not until she had a better idea about her feelings. The last thing she wanted was to use Sam as some kind of rebound relationship and hurt him.

_Should she go to Jake?_

No, not him either…. Jake was distancing himself lately. It's been ages since the last time she thought about him as her best friend. Sam was occupying that spot in her heart for some time.

_And not only that spot, but let's not get into that right now….. _

Besides Jake could be so immature at times; Bella wasn't comfortable confiding in him, not when it came to such an important secret that would change so many lives.

_Were Paul's parents even on the Reservation? How would they react to an illegitimate child appearing out of the blue in their lives?_

She felt so selfish for not having thought about Paul's family before…. She didn't want to cause trouble for him or his family, but she could not just let the past be. She had to meet her illusive father. If he didn't want to acknowledge her as his daughter it was not a big deal. She had spent most of her life with an absent father; she could do it again. But she needed to have some answers at least and she wanted, no she needed to get to know her brother, keep him in her life if possible. No, she could not let their possible reactions stop her, but these were delicate matters and discretion was needed.

_Jake was definitely not an option. No one could __ever accuse him of being discreet! _

Maybe she should go to Billy…. He would know about Paul's family of course. He could give her some advice how to approach them without causing a scandal on the reservation. But that meant that she would have to confess everything to him.

_W__ould Paul get mad if she spilled family secrets to Billy or anybody really, not that Sam was anybody really but that's not the point, before she talked to him?_

She knew that had it been her in his shoes, she would want to know before anyone else. As her brother he had the right to know first that he had an illegitimate half-sister.

_Yes, Paul deserved a warning before she aired the dirty laundry for everyone to see. _

She should go to him directly and tell him everything, give him a chance to absorb the shock and prepare his family. It was the right thing to do considering that she was about to drop a megaton bomb in his life.

_And wouldn't that be a pleasant conversation, no awkwardness at all! __If only there was another way…. _

But since Renée never took responsibility for anything she would have to do this on her own…. Get the nerve up to knock on his door and spill her guts…

_How bad could it be anyway?_

Worst case scenario was that he would want nothing to do with her. Rejection was not pleasant at all, but at least she would have some kind of closure. Not knowing would surely drive her crazy before long. And who knows? Maybe she would get lucky and finally have a family…. Yes, that was what she would do, go find Paul and to hell with the consequences!

Bella stood up, picked her backpack and walked back to her bike.

_Better to leave for La Push__ now, before she started second guessing herself._

She still didn't know what she would say to Paul once she found him, but Bella could not wait any more.

_She would have to be brave and improvise. A premade speech would just make her look ridiculous, not to mention calculating like she had ulterior motives. Better to be authentic and hope for the best…._

Having made her decision, Bella climbed on the bike and drove off to La Push right as a new day dawned over the horizon.


	11. Confrontations

Bella 's sudden appearance at the Reservation on a motorcycle no less made quite a few heads turn as she drove down the main road of La Push, but she ignored them.

_She was a woman on a mission and she would not let anyone distract her! _

That is until she realised that she had no idea where Paul's house was or even how he looked like!

She stopped the bike frustrated. She would have to ask for some help after all.

_And how was she supposed to explain __her sudden need to talk to Paul? _

It would cause all kinds of awkward questions considering the fact that they were not formally introduced and she had therefore no legitimate reason to look for him.

_So much for discretion__! She would have to go to Billy after all._

Bella was about to turn the bike and head back to Billy's when she heard someone call her name and paused curiously.

"Bella Swan… fancy meeting you here… After your dramatic exit I didn't expect to see you on the res for a long time, if ever!"

Bella turned towards the mocking voice and raised an eyebrow giving the man standing before her an once-over. He was one fine male specimen, tall and muscled with short black hair and brown eyes that seemed familiar to her for some reason.

"Do I know you?", she asked slowly her voice dripping with sarcasm, " I don't see why I have to explain myself to you".

She refused to let that stranger intimidate her.

_Bella Swan was done being a victim and she would behave accordingly even if it killed her!_

"My apologies!" He cried dramatically and gave her an exaggerated bow. "How rude of me not to introduce myself right away! It's not as if you can recognize me by sight like I do after all." He paused for a moment waiting for her reaction and when he got none he took a step back to take a good look at her. "You are not like I thought…."

"Well, excuse me for not giving a damn about fulfilling some random stranger's expectations!" , Bella exclaimed indignantly, "You still haven't told me who you are."

"Paul … Paul Lahote. .. And you still haven't told me what you are doing on the res."

_Well, I'll be damned! This is Paul? My brother Paul? Wow!__ No wonder he felt familiar to me… He is gorgeous! Not like Sam of course… No one could be like Sam… But still my brother is every girl's wet dream! And that sounded so wrong on so many levels!..._

"Bella! …. Bella! What is wrong with you, girl? One minute you are here and the next you are staring off into space!"

Paul's yelling broke Bella of her little bubble.

_Just how long was she lost in her head?_

She shook her head slightly as if to clear it and focused her attention back on Paul.

"Sorry, zoned out for a minute. " Bella mumbled sheepishly. "What was the question again?"

_Way to go Bella! What a way to make a good first impression… _

"For the last time, I asked you what you are doing on the res. Focus girl; I am trying to talk to you here!"

Paul was getting pissed. He was never one for patience and he absolutely loathed to have to repeat himself. He should have got up and left a long time ago and under normal circumstances he would have, but there was something about that girl… He felt the need to get to know her, understand what made her tick and it was that need that made him stop and talk to her in the first place. It was that same need that kept him there despite his will almost…

_Damn imprinting shit!__ Now he had to play nice with Sam's imprint whether he liked it or not!_

Bella saw the muscles in his jaw twitching and took a deep breath to calm herself. It was obvious that Paul was losing his patience and fast.

_I guess this is it. T__ime to get enough guts up and do what you came here for!_

She looked him straight in the eye with a courage she never knew she possessed and casually dropped the first bomb.

"Actually Paul, I came to La Push looking for you."

"Excuse me? Did I hear you right?" Paul felt extremely proud that he managed to speak without stuttering. "You are looking for me? Why on earth for?"

"I need to talk to you…"

"Talk to me? What could we possibly have to say to each other?" Paul asked her incredulously. That girl was surely going to drive him crazy. First she zoned out while he was trying to talk to her and when she decided to finally open her mouth she was spouting nonsense!

_But he was still here, wasn't he? What did that tell about him?_

Bella shifted uncomfortably and looked around her at the gathered people who made no effort to hide the fact that they were staring at them trying to listen to their conversation.

"I think we are creating a riot." Bella sneered gesturing at the crowd, "Just look at them! What exactly are they hoping to see anyway?"

Paul raised an eyebrow at the tone of her voice.

_Who would have thought that Bella Swan had it in her to sneer when annoyed?__ If she kept it up he might even end up liking the little leech-lover! What is the world coming to?_

"Well, you will have to excuse them." Paul's mocking answer was just loud enough for everyone to hear. "They are not exactly used to seeing me having a civil conversation with a girl in the middle of the road."

People laughed uncomfortably having being caught eavesdropping but Bella ignored them. She had wasted too much time worrying what other people thought about her; she refused to do it anymore.

_Let them stare and let them think what they want! They will do anyway. And what was that comment about civil conversations with girls? Surely, he doesn't mean…. I am so not going there!_

She looked Paul straight in the eye and stepping closer she lowered her voice that only the two of them could hear.

"I really need to talk to you and it would be better for the both of us if we had that conversation in private. Please, Paul… It is important."

Paul was confused. He couldn't imagine what Bella could possibly have to say to him that was so important. He was tired and he was hungry, definitely in no mood for riddles.

_Imprint or not__, he had had enough. Sam was so going to owe him for this. _

He was about to scoff at her and leave, when he heard that please.

_What the fuck? Bella Swan pleading for a talk with him?_

He knew then that he couldn't walk away. He took a good look at her and was startled to see that she was dead serious. For the first time since he saw her driving through the Reservation Paul felt nervous, but his curious nature would drive him insane until he knew what that was all about. He would have to talk to her. Having made his decision Paul turned to Bella and gave her his hand to help her get off the bike.

"I know just the place. Leave the bike here and follow me."

Bella sighed with relief and took his offered hand.

_So far so good. Now she would have to find the words to describe that mess they found themselves in. _

As she got off the bike she wondered for the first time, if ignorance really was bliss after all. _Was she doing the right thing? Well, it was too late to back off now. They would both have to find out the hard way._

Meanwhile in the forest a wolf was finally content to feel his mate so close to him. Since she was back where she belonged he could finally step down and let his human take control and go find her. He growled a warning _**- **_**Do not let her go again!**_** -**_and faded in the background.

Sam was shocked to feel the wolf backing off for the first time in weeks. He was in control again and the pain had eased some. It was almost bearable like it was when Bella was last in La Push close to him.

_Could it be? Did he dare hope that Bella came back to him?__ But she must be. What other explanation was there?_

Sam started running towards the Reservation before he could even finish that thought. If Bella was really back he wouldn't waste even a minute. He needed to see her and hold her, feel that she was really there. And off course he needed to talk to her and explain everything before she could slip away again. Losing her once had almost killed him; he could not take it a second time. But first he needed to find her…

_Where could Bella be?_

Sam sprinted through the forest at breakneck speed and prayed that Bella would be understanding and accepting.

Paul decided that taking Bella to his house would have raised a few eyebrows, not to mention that Sam would have killed him, so he opted for the forest instead. They walked for a couple of minutes till they reached a small clearing away from the patrol routes.

"Here we are. As safe from prying ears as we can be and now I am waiting for an explanation, Bella Swan. "

Paul stood facing Bella and crossed his arms. "What do you need to talk about and why did we have to be alone for the conversation?"

Bella opened her mouth to speak and not finding the words closed it again. She tried once more with little success and sighed frustrated.

"Well, you wanted to talk, so talk!" Paul pressed her irritated by her silence.

"I am trying!" Bella growled putting her hands on her hips. "But it's not that easy!"

Paul felt his jaw drop and his respect for the girl went up a few notches.

_Did Bella Swan just gr__owl at me?_

They stood silent for a couple minutes locked in a staring contest, till Bella couldn't stay still anymore and started pacing.

"It's a long story and difficult for me…" She muttered still on the move. "Bear with me please and try not to interrupt..."

"Would you just stand still for a minute, girl!" Paul shouted rubbing his temples. "I'll try to listen, but you are giving me a headache with all this moving around!"

Bella sighed again and stood with her back against a tree closing her eyes. She had to find a way to explain to him. She had come this far, she had to go through with this. She slid down to the ground and sat with her elbows on her knees. She opened her eyes but refused to look at him. She stared to a point far away and fumbling for words Bella started with her story.

Paul kept silent long after Bella had finished her story. He had always known that he had a half sibling somewhere in the world; his mother never let his father, or anyone else for that matter, forget that indiscretion. But he had never, not even in his wildest dreams imagined that he would actually meet that sibling or that Bella Swan would be his long lost sister.

_Bella Swan was his sister…. Un-fucking- believable! What was he supposed to do now?__ Hug her and welcome her to the family?_

Paul was torn. He wanted to hate her. He really did; she was a leech lover for Taha Aki's sake! But his wolf was overjoyed to have found another member of his pack; a member he thought was lost forever. Adding to this mess that Bella was also his Alpha's imprint the wolf felt doubly connected to her. Still that did not mean that Paul was going to welcome her with open arms. He was the one in control of his life not the wolf- or at least he was trying to be_. _

_He would be damned if he let the wolf take over and __dictate more of his fate than he already did just by existing!_

Paul shook his head to get rid of those annoying thoughts and turned his attention back to Bella. She was still sitting under the tree curled up tightly into a ball. She looked so small and vulnerable in this position that Paul felt some weird emotion churning up inside him.

_Was that protectiveness? He had never felt that way before.__ Not that he ever had any family worth protecting…. Family, what a joke! _

Paul ignored it hoping to squash that feeling before it had time to develop and consume him.

_He would not start feeling sorry for her!_

Still, it must have been really difficult for her to come back to La Push and confront him like that, he admitted grudgingly.

_It takes guts to stand up and face your past. __He knew that all too well as he was still struggling with his own, but that slip of a girl did it with no apologies and no regrets._

Paul had always admired determination and strength of character in a person. Leech lover or not, Bella Swan had both in abundance and that was something that Paul could not ignore. He could not accept her as his family just like that, but he could not dismiss her either. Sam would probably kill him if he did. He would have to find some middle ground and go from there.

Paul walked to Bella and stood right before her.

"Bella… I don't really know what to say to you…" He hesitated for a minute not sure how to handle her. He passed his hand through his hair agitated; dealing with females beyond luring them to his bed was not something he was used to. He exhaled loudly and was about to try again when he heard a loud crush from the woods behind them and an enraged roar made his blood run cold.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!"

Sam was approaching fast and the look in his eyes made Paul swore violently. This was not going to end well. He took a few steps back and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender hoping to appease his furious Alpha.

"Sam, calm down. This is not what you think it is!"

Paul tried to pacify him wincing at the cliché. The irony of his statement did not escape him either. It was the first time that he actually meant it, but it would probably make no difference. Sam was too out of it to think rationally. All he could see was his imprint curled up under a tree, an imprint that he hadn't seen in weeks and Paul standing above her in what he perceived a threatening way.

"Really, Paul? It isn't what I think it is?" Sam sneered charging forward, "You got her alone out here in the woods fallen on the ground and it isn't what I think it is? You've got some nerve to say that to my face!"

Paul flinched at the venom in Sam's voice. He would have preferred Sam to have screamed and vented his anger. That cold fury he saw in his eyes was making him extremely nervous. It was not that he was afraid for himself. Paul was no stranger to pain and he would gladly take Sam on if it came to a fight, but with Bella there he was terrified of what might happen.

"Sam…", he tried to reason with him again. " You've got to calm down before something bad happens with Bella standing right next to us. We can deal with it later, just the two of us."

But Sam was not listening lost in a haze of longing and rage. Hearing Bella's name from Paul's lips pushed him even further over the edge.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER! YOU ARE NOT TO TOUCH HER AGAIN!"

Sam was too far gone; Paul could see that and prepared to fight, but before that he would stall him for as long as possible.

_Where the hell a__re the others? Could they not have heard anything? What good is that god damned wolf hearing when no one is here at a time like this?_

"Don't to this Sam... You are going to regret it, but it will be too late…"

What Paul could not have anticipated was Bella's reaction to the scene in front of her.

Bella had jumped to her feet when Sam started screaming, but she was too shocked to react at first. She had never seen Sam at such a state and she could barely believe her eyes. But as he went on yelling like a madman and accusing Paul of God knows what and then more, Bella got angry. She barged past Paul and stood before Sam seething.

"Sam Uley! Are you out of your mind?" She screamed at him unaware of the danger she was putting herself into. "You charge out of the forest like a man possessed and start screaming for no reason at all and then you accuse Paul and demand that he stays away from me! Why? And who gave you the right to decide for me?"

Paul was stunned. He would have laughed at the sight of tiny Bella standing up to Sam and berating him like a wayward child, if he wasn't so terrified for her.

_For Taha Aki's sake, did she have no self-preservation at all?_

He could see that Sam was trembling, extremely close to losing it. The fact that his imprint was attacking him and defending another man was too much for the wolf to bear. He would phase any minute now and Bella was too close to him and still baiting him.

"For God's sake Sam, be reasonable! Paul did nothing…."

All hell broke loose at that. Sam lost the battle with the wolf and phased. Paul felt like time had stopped along with his heart. Never before had he ever felt so scared for someone! He sprang forward and barely managed to pull Bella away from Sam. He stood before her defending her, but that made Sam more furious. The wolf was enraged that another man was keeping his imprint away from him. Sam lunged at Paul and he was forced to phase himself to keep him at bay.

It would have probably ended in a bloodbath had Bella not been here. When Paul phased he pushed her out of the way and she fell on the ground frozen to the spot. She could not believe what was happening before her eyes.

_Sam changed into a wolf? Paul too? What on earth was going on? And what was that noise?_

Bella might not have realized that she was screaming, but the sound of her voice was enough to pull Sam out of his trance. His imprint was terrified and he was the one responsible for her terror. He changed back and fell to his knees paralyzed.

Paul changed back too, but did not move from his place in front of Bella not sure if Sam was in control.

"Sam? Are you ok, man?"

Sam blinked too dazed to respond.

_What was he supposed to do now?_

"Sam, listen to me! You have to pull yourself together!" Paul tried again. Sam had to regain control of his wolf before something terrible happened.

"What? … What have I done?"

Sam turned his attention to Bella who was still on the ground screaming. He stood and took a step closer in an effort to comfort her, not even noticing that he was naked.

"Bella, I am so sorry! So sorry…."

Bella showed no sign of calming down though. She had stopped screaming but she was still in hysterics, shaking and crying. Seeing Sam walking closer to her she flinched back, shock and fear evident on her face.

Sam stood still not knowing what to do. His worst nightmare was coming true: his imprint was afraid of him and he could do nothing to comfort her. He could tell that he was about to snap again and he turned to Paul silently begging him for help.

_He could__ not phase in front of her again! Once was bad enough, but to do it again in a matter of minutes? Bella would completely lose it and who could blame her?_

Paul sighed tiredly, looking back and forth from Sam to Bella.

_What a mess!__ And I am the one who is supposed to clear it? This day keeps getting better and better!_

Bella was on the verge of a total nervous breakdown and it was killing Sam to be the cause of her pain. Paul had to do something to smooth things over. Bella would run for the hills if Sam phased again and Sam would never forgive himself if he lost control again and further upset her. Paul might be a heartless asshole most of the time, but even he couldn't stand unaffected by the drama in front of him. Sam had been his friend since childhood. He would never admit it out loud but he cared for him; add to that the wolf's loyalty for his Alpha and he had no choice but to get involved. And Bella…. Bella was his newfound sister. He never really wanted a sibling and he certainly never asked for her, but Bella was there nevertheless and he could not ignore her. Having seen her in such danger moments ago he felt something stir inside him. Was it a brother's love? He did not know, but the fact was but he could not turn his back to her.

Having made his decision Paul jumped into action. First of all he had to calm Bella and to make that happen he had to remove Sam from the equation.

"Sam, leave." Ordering the Alpha was not something that Paul was comfortable doing but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Sam, go and control yourself!" Paul insisted when he saw that Sam wasn't moving. "I will try to calm Bella and explain things to her."

Sam stood undecided for a moment. He gazed at Bella wishing there was something more he could do. He hated to leave his imprint in such a state, but realizing that his presence was making things worse he admitted his defeat.

"Take care of her." He whispered brokenly. "You are holding my life in your hands."

"I will." Paul swore solemnly. "I will do my best for her."

Sam gave one last look at Bella wincing at how small and vulnerable she looked fallen on the ground. Hoping that he was doing the right thing he turned stiffly and took off to the forest without looking back.


	12. Explanations

Paul was relieved to see Sam leave. Never before had he ever felt as afraid as he did the minute he saw Sam phase within breathing distance from Bella!

Granted, he never had anyone to care about before, his family being the way it was, but he never thought that he could feel so connected to another person so quickly. He barely knew Bella before her father _–__if__one__could__call__him__a__father__the__way__he__behaved__towards__his__daughter__ – _ dragged her away from La Push kicking and screaming and it had been just a few hours since she told him the shocking news, but his need to protect Bella was instinctive and powerful.

_So much about needing no one close to him…_

The wolf had accepted her instantly as his pack and family and he better get used to it. Still, worrying about someone else was a new feeling for him and he was not sure he liked it…

Bella's sobs shook Paul out of his self – analysis and he swore loudly.

_What on earth was wrong with him to get so distracted in his head and forget that Bella was still there shocked and afraid?_

He reached behind a nearby bush to get an extra pair of cut-offs and wore them, silently congratulating himself on choosing to bring Bella to one of his favourite spots in the forest where he always kept a change of clothes for emergencies.

_Thank Taha Aki for small favours! Trying to talk to her with no clothes on would be such a no- no. This was his sister! Wow, saying that sounded weird even in his head…_

And talking about weird… What was it with him deciding to bring Bella there, when he always struggled to keep this place out of his mind while patrolling and all to himself? And that was before he knew anything about their connection…

_Paul, focus! Bella needs you right now and you are wasting your time woolgathering like an old woman!_

Dressed and properly chastised Paul hurried to get to Bella who was still on the ground curled up tightly into a ball, sobs wracking her small frame. She looked so young and defenseless as she cried her heart out that she broke the heart that he could have sworn he no longer had. Paul knelt by her side and took her in his arms tucking her head in his neck.

"It's ok, Bella, I got you", he whispered soothingly, "Let it all out. It's been one hell of day for you, hasn't it? First you come to La Push to reveal some hard truths to an unknown brother; that was so brave of you, did I tell you that? "

Paul paused for a moment amazed and relieved that she did not try to struggle out of his arms.

_Why wasn't she afraid of him? She had just seen him change into a giant wolf right before her eyes! _

Quickly, he dismissed that thought as unimportant; it was not the time to ponder the secret meanings of their actions: why Bella was not afraid of him or why he was acting so out of character comforting her when he normally did not give a damn about other people's feelings.

Paul tightened his hold on her shoulders and started to rock her as he went on with his monologue.

"No, I guess I was so wrapped up in shock and anger that I didn't. And then you had to see Sam totally lose it and change into a giant wolf and then I also phased. No wonder that you lost it. Who wouldn't? I sure as hell would!"

Paul lost track of time. They could have been like that for hours, but he didn't care. He wasn't sure that Bella was listening but he could tell that the sound of his voice was relaxing her, so he kept talking and rocking her until her sobs lessened to sniffling. Even then he did not let her go. It was so rare for him to have close physical contact with another person – sex does not count – that both the man and the wolf were eager to cherish every minute.

Bella was also content in his warm embrace. She nuzzled against Paul's neck and prayed that the moment would never end. Never before in her life had she ever felt so safe and protected. Usually she was the one to care for everyone and that stolen moment when someone else had finally taken over to care about her and protect her was a rare gift. Even if nothing else ever came from her relationship with Paul she would treasure that memory for ever.

Paul felt her move and sighed. He hated to ruin that peaceful out of time moment, but what choice did he have? They would have to face reality eventually…

"Bella, are you ok?" He asked softly kissing her temple. "I have a lot of things to explain, will you listen?"

Bella stiffened at the sound of his voice.

_No, she did not want to listen. Couldn't they stay like this forever?_

She took a deep breath and nodded. Wishing for the time to stop was just plain stupid. Paul needed to talk and she needed to listen. She had a thousand questions and no matter how much she did not want to, delaying the inevitable was pointless.

"Did you really change into wolves? Was it real?"

Paul tightened his embrace around her. He opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again not finding the right words.

_How was he supposed to answer her questions? What could he say to make her understand and ease her fears? _

He didn't think he could stand to have her, his sister, his only family afraid of him; not to mention that Sam would probably murder him in the most gruesome way if his imprint rejected him because Paul failed to explain things properly.

"Paul?"

Bella's voice sounded timid and afraid as she shifted restlessly and moved so that she could look at his face. Obviously he was lost in his doubts far longer than he thought. Paul cursed silently.

_Couldn't he do anything right? Come on Paul, man up! Your silence is only scaring her!_

"Sorry, Bella. I was just trying to find the right words, but I don't think there are any."

He took her hand in his and squeezed in what he hoped was a reassuring way as he looked her in the eye and uttered the first word.

"Yes, we can change into wolves, Bella. It was not a dream or hallucination; it really happened."

"But…. how?"

"Have you ever heard any of our legends, Bella? No, I don't suppose you would have… The legends are a close kept secret. But you will hear them first chance we get to have a bonfire. You have not heard the legends until you get to hear them from Billy…"

"Paul. .. Paul! You are rumbling."

"Yeah…. I guess I am." Paul smiled tensely; he couldn't believe how nervous he felt. "Sorry, Bella."

_Relax man! She has not run screaming for the hills… yet! Do not push your luck._

"Ok, back to the legends…. Our tribe is supposed to come from wolves and that is why certain members of our tribe have the ability to phase, to change into wolves."

"But why?"

"Yeah… That's the million dollar question, why." Paul muttered bitterly and closed his eyes trying to control his rage. It would do no good to bite her head off about her past with the leeches.

"Are you ok, Paul?" Bella asked suddenly worried by the anger she could see on the tense muscles of his neck. She touched his face with her free hand hoping to soothe him the way he seemed to do for her. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I did not mean to pry …"

Paul took a deep breath to calm his nerves oddly pleased that Bella did not hesitate to touch him. He opened his eyes to show her that he meant every word.

"You are not prying, Bella. These are also your legends after all or they will be soon enough when the tribe welcomes you as one of us."

He took her hand from his face kissing it before putting it down on her lap with their fingers entwined. He knew that his next words would be a huge blow to her and hoped that his presence, his strength would help her somehow.

"The wolves phase because of the Cold Ones. They are the protectors of our tribe and our land. "

"The Cc..cold Ones?" Bella stuttered afraid of what she would hear next. She had a terrible suspicion that she knew who those Cold Ones were.

"Vampires, Bella. We phase to protect the reservation from vampires. We phase because the Cullens are close."

Bella felt it like a punch; she could barely breathe. If the tribe knew that the Cullens were vampires and they considered them enemies….

_Oh God! What would they think about my close relationship with the Cullens? What would Sam think? Would Paul hate me? _

"So you know…. " Bella choked wrapping her hands over her chest.

"That you used to date a vampire and almost gave up your life to become one of them? Yes, we do."

Paul bit back his answer through clenched teeth barely managing to contain his sarcasm. He hated vampires with a passion, but he was smart enough to realize that he had to at least try to moderate his hatred around Bella. Those leeches were important to her or used to be and he would be damned if he let them come between them, even if that meant that he had to keep his mouth shut till he could assess her lingering attachment to them.

_He would not lose his sister because of careless words – not again and certainly not to them!_

"What you must think of me…." Bella mumbled turning her eyes away. She could not take it if she saw disgust in his eyes.

"Bella, calm down, will you? There is no need for panic." Paul pulled her in his arms again trying to soothe her. "No one will judge you for your past, we all have one!"

"Sam is going to hate me…"

Bella's whisper was so faint that Paul would never have caught it without his wolf ears. He pushed her back a little to be able to look at her eyes and swore profusely when he saw the dead look in them.

_No, no, not again! That won't do. Bella was not allowed to give up and wallow in despair. He would not let her! _

He shook her lightly to get her attention and spoke to her in a firm voice that he hoped would reassure her.

"Now, listen to me Isabella Swan and listen well because I am not going to tell you twice! I do not hate you and Sam is not going to hate you either that I can promise you!"

"But Paul you can't know that!" Bella yelled indignantly breaking off from his hold. She started pacing and muttering to herself unaware that Paul could hear her. "First he tells me that they are wolves designed and destined to kill vampires, their mortal enemies and then tells me that it's ok that I used to hang around with vampires and I actually fell in love and dated one of those said vampires! Just like that… No hard feelings at all!"

Paul watched her fascinated for a couple of minutes hardly believing his eyes.

_Man that girl is such a spitfire! Strong and resilient, yeah definitely my sister…_

He would never admit it out aloud, but he was actually proud to call her his sister. He had to calm her down though, before she collapsed exhausted from repeated shocks. Paul took a deep breath and prepared to bare his soul.

_How could he possibly expect her to trust him after all, if he didn't do something to earn her trust?_

"Bella, I realize that you don't know me which means that you can't really trust me, but I don't lie. I may be a lot of things and you will probably hear them all if you decide to stick around the res, but I don't lie. No matter what. I always say what I mean and I mean what I say. So Bella, when I tell you that Sam would never hate you that is the absolute truth."

Bella paused in her pacing and gave him a hard look at him measuring him up. She wanted to believe him; she really did.

_But how could she? How could she trust her heart and soul again to a practically stranger and hope for the best? _

Brother or not she barely knew him and she didn't think she could take another betrayal…

"I get it that you are not lying to me and I believe you. But Paul, how could you make such a promise? How can you know for sure how Sam feels?"

"Please Bella, don't ask me that. I will answer all your questions, but this one. It is not my place to tell you about Sam's feelings. I've said too much as it is…"

"Ok, Paul, I understand I guess…. Sam is your friend and you have to keep his secrets… Does this mean that you won't tell me why Sam reacted so ridiculously seeing us together either?"

Paul saw her mischievous smile and felt relieved. Bella was a fighter; she was going to be ok, till Sam spilled the beans anyway… But he wasn't too worried.

_Bella was Sam's imprint, for crying out loud, his perfect match made just for him and vice versa! They would find a way to make it work even if they had a rough start and Paul would also be there to collect the pieces and give Bella a shove to the right direction if need be._

But first he had to get back to reality and answer her questions, before she started thinking that he was retarded!

"Sorry, Bella, I zoned out for a bit, what was your question?"

"I asked about your family. I just realised that I was so focused on coming here to reveal the truth and finally have some answers that I didn't stop to really think about the implications of my actions. I don't want to hurt your family, Paul…. And I'm sorry if my need for answers will end up tearing your family apart." Bella whispered guiltily and looked away.

_Maybe she shouldn't have come after all. They were other people involved in this mess. How could she have been so selfish?_

Paul heard the guilt in her voice and saw her withdrawing into herself. He had to reassure her and he knew that would bring her more pain. His heart ached for her. She was dealt a nasty hand and he was about to make it even worse, but it was inevitable.

_Damn__you__Renée__Swan__and__damn__you__too__father!__You__did__what__you__did__with__no__thought__to__the__havoc__you__would__create__and__then__you__stood__aside__and__did__nothing__to__make__things__better!_ _But__ignorance__is__bliss__right?__Ignore__the__truth__and__it__would__just__go__away.__Damn__fools!_

And now it was up to him to crush Bella's dreams of a family reunion and break her heart once again.

"Bella, look at me please." Paul started gulping nervously; there was really no easy way to say this, so he would have to just spit it out and offer her his shoulder to cry on. "You are not destroying anything Bella. There is no happy family to tear apart. I've been on my own for years. I realize that you were probably hoping for a family reunion and a happily ever after, but it won't happen. I am sorry."

"It's not your fault, Paul, don't apologise." Bella whispered with a hoarse voice trying hard to choke back her tears.

_Yes, she was disappointed that she was not going to be meeting her father. Yes, she had hoped for a happy ending or at least for answers and some kind of closure, but Paul was certainly not to blame for her not getting that. _

She could hear it in his voice loud and clear that there was more to this story and she could also feel his pain. Paul may try hard to appear as a cold unfeeling bastard, but she could hear between his words the small helpless child begging for some love and affection. And she would be damned if she added to his pain with pointless blame and accusations!

_After all, how could it be Paul's fault that their parents, all of them, pretended that nothing ever happened and hoped that the secret would stay hidden and eventually go away?_

"It's not your fault, Paul." She told him again not sure if he heard her the first time. She took his arm in hers and held it tightly. "Our parents did this, all of them. And yes, I had planned to meet my father and hoped for some closure, but I guess it's not meant to be… I have lived almost all my life with an absent father. I can do it again, at least now I have you by my side."

Paul was floored with her easy acceptance and understanding.

_Yes, that girl was a fighter and a survivor; just like him. He would be so proud to accept her as his sister before the whole reservation!_

For the first time in ages he felt that he was not alone any more.

_Had anyone ever stood on his corner, accepting him and offering him unconditional love and support the way Bella did?_

He pulled her in his arms and hugged her tightly not wanting to let go ever. He hid his head in her hair and cried for the first time since he was a small child. He cried for his broken childhood, he cried for all the lost years he could have had with his sister, he cried because finally he could let it all out and nobody would taunt him for that.

Bella stayed silent during his meltdown and just held him. It was obvious that he needed the release as it was also obvious that he had been keeping everything inside for years.

_This__ends__here!_ She vowed. _Paul__would__never__feel__alone__in__this__world__again._

"I'm ok." Paul whispered after a while. "Thank you, Bella. I never realised how much I needed that."

"You don't have to thank me, Paul, ever. You are not alone any more. We are family and we will stick together. Isn't that what a family is supposed to do? And I will not ask any more questions. Not if it's so painful for you to dwell on the past."

"I'm ok, Bella. And I will answer your questions. You have a right to know about your own father even if he was not much of one. You were certainly better off without him!"

"If you are sure…." Bella sat on the ground and pulled on his hand to drag him with her. She might even have succeeded if he was not a wolf with supernatural strength. "Come on, let's sit. This is going to be a long conversation, I can tell."

Paul smiled at her efforts to lighten the mood and followed her on the ground. He sat with his back against a tree and pulled her close to him. With her sitting between his legs and her back pressed against his chest he felt ready to start with his story and drag all the skeletons from the closet.

"So… my loving family…. Where to start? I guess the first thing to tell you would be that I always knew that I had a sibling somewhere in the world."

"What? You knew? No wonder you weren't so shocked when I told you…"

"Yeah… My bitch of a mother knew about my father's indiscretion and she never let anyone forget it. She would throw it back to his face again and again not caring if I was also there or no. So yes, I did not know who or where, but I knew I had a sibling."

"Oh Paul, I don't know what to say…"

"What is there to say? My parents had a miserable marriage. It would have been better for all of us if they had just broken up and be done with it, but they didn't. My mother would never admit that her marriage failed. She would never let that pale face, your mothers that is, win and she would definitely never let him free to live his life. She was a frigid bitch all right. And my father was a weak man who let her get away with anything and drunk too much to forget that he wasn't the man of the house. They kept fighting and fighting; that 's all I remember from my childhood, my parents, if you could call them that, fighting and screaming to each other, throwing things and banging doors."

"I don't dare ask…" Bella was mortified. She never expected that a simple question would reveal such a drama.

"What happened to them? Do not feel bad, Bella, it's a valid question. My father is dead. He was drunkenly roaming out in the woods, ended up somehow by the cliffs, he stumbled and fell. Or at least that's the official story, but who can really tell? Maybe, he had enough and just jumped. I certainly wouldn't blame him if he did!"

"And your mother?"

"She's not dead, or at least she wasn't the last time I heard from her, but that was years ago. She took off right after my father's funeral and never looked back relieved that she escaped her former life."

"And you've been alone ever since…."

"Yeah… It was almost a relief; you know, not to have to deal with their constant fighting and hate… I was sixteen years old and it was not as if I was not used to taking care of myself; hell I practically raised myself on my own! And what I couldn't do Billy Black was always there to take care of… "

"Some people should never be allowed to have children…"

"Oh, come on Bella, don't give me that, I do not need your pity! "

Bella pulled away from his embrace and turned to look him in the eye suddenly enraged by his words.

"My pity? Who the hell said anything about pity, you arrogant bastard? Do you think that you are the only one with a crappy childhood? Let me tell you something, you self righteous shit, you do not have exclusive rights to pain and suffering!"

Paul flinched startled. Never had he ever thought of himself as self righteous, but Bella was right. He was not the only one and judging by the passion in her voice…

"Tell me." He pulled her back to his chest and closed his eyes smelling her hair. He had hoped that Bella would have had a normal happy childhood, but that wasn't the case obviously. "Tell me your story."

Bella took a deep breath savouring the warmth of his embrace. She felt so safe in his arms and at the same time strong enough to face anything.

"Really Paul, my childhood was nowhere near as dramatic as yours. My parents divorced when I was too young. It just happened one day with no warning. Renée grabbed me and we took off never to return to Forks and Charlie did nothing. He let her go and never made an effort to keep in touch with me. It was as If I didn't have a father anymore… I got used to it eventually, but that nagging question was always there – why did he not care? Well, I guess I got my answer to that."

"What about your mother?"

"Renée…. She loved me in her way I guess…. She clothed me and fed me for the most part and never hit me or anything like that…"

"For the most part?", Paul screamed outraged and started to shake, " What on earth does this mean?"

"Paul would you relax? The last thing we need is for you to phase right now! As for Renée… She had good intentions, but she was too flighty and impulsive. She would forget to pay the bills or buy groceries. She would forget to feed me or pick me up from school. She would lose her job because she was too eccentric and unreliable or she would spend all her paycheck on a new adventure. She was the child and I was the adult. For as long as I remember I had to raise myself and also keep an eye on my mother to make sure we would pay the bills and have food on the table. Not to mention the countless boyfriends that came and went in our lives…. Renée has ever cared for only one person that is herself. I was always on my own and had only myself to depend on. You know I really thought things would change when I moved to Forks. I mean Charlie was a responsible adult fully able to take care of himself, but nothing really changed. He paid the bills and left money for groceries, I'll give him that, but he still expected me to take care of all the cooking and house chores. How he managed to survive before me I will never understand! We seemed to be getting along well for a while, or at least that's what I thought that we were finally getting a little closer…. Till it all blew up in my face. Funny how that happens when you least expect it… At the first sign of trouble Charlie became unreasonable and controlling. And when I refused to live under his regime, he went totally ballistic comparing me to my mother and accusing me of her crimes, punishing me for them. In the end he simply rejected me… " Bella's voice trailed off as she got lost reliving her memories.

Paul closed his eyes and clenched his fists in anger hearing the pain in her voice.

_What a mess! Bella's childhood may have been different from his but it seemed that it wasn't any easier. They had both suffered needlessly because their parents could not take responsibility for their actions and then they were left on their own not measuring up to their expectations or whatever. But this ends now! They did not need to be alone anymore._

Paul took a deep breath to calm himself and tighten his hold on Bella

"You are not alone anymore Bella. None of us needs to be alone anymore… I will stand by you. I promise you that. No matter what happens or how our lives turn out I will always be by your side."

"I know Paul." Bella's voice choked with emotion. "I may not know you for long, but I can tell that you mean it. And I promise you that I will also be by your side always and forever. It may have taken us a while to find each other, but I can feel this bond between us. Is it because of the wolf? We are finally here together. And that's all that matters!"

Paul did not answer. He could not. He felt as if he was about to cry again and all these sudden feelings were suffocating him. It was all too much for somebody who used to think that he did not have a heart anymore and behaved accordingly.

_For Taha Aki's sake Bella, what are you doing to me?_

He tried desperately to find something to say hoping to lighten the mood and push back all these new feelings.

_This family thing will apparently take some getting used to… He was lucky that the pack did not patrol around that part of the woods or he would never live it down. It was so worth it though! Ok, ok time to man up… He queened out enough as it is. He was Paul Lahote after all!_

"Hey Bella, it's getting late. What do you say about riding a werewolf back to the Reservation? "


	13. Fallout

**AN:** Italics are thoughts as usual.

Sam was furious. He had been pacing nonstop for over an hour up and down the beach and back again, but he could barely contain the wolf. Every time he came close to controlling himself Paul's words came back to him and he felt like wringing his neck.

_How dare he keep him away from his imprint? To actually tell him to go away? It was ridiculous! What did Paul know anyway?_

_But Bella did look scared and she was hysterical._

That traitorous voice in his head – was it his conscience; he did not give a damn who she was, she just wanted her out – pointed out so helpfully. Sam swore and stopped his pacing abruptly.

_As if it wasn't enough to have a pack of wolves in his head while phased, now he was hearing voices while human! But maybe, just maybe, Paul had a point there…_.

Sam was hard pressed to admit that Bella did look afraid and freaked out.

_Who wouldn't, she just saw two men change into huge wolves right before her eyes! _

_Damn that voice! Was it too much to want his head to be his own just for once?_

Back to the matter at hand, Paul and his attitude.

_Since when does Paul care about what happens to Bella? And what on earth was he doing with her out in the woods in the first place?_

Sam started pacing again. Being logical and all was one thing, telling the wolf that was a totally different story. Still he had to calm down. He needed to talk to Paul to get to the bottom of this.

_Killing him would be kind of counter-productive, right? He would definitely enjoy it though…_

And he would have to apologise to Bella….

_Oh Taha Aki, what was he going to tell Bella? The first time he saw her since …well … forever he had to behave like a mindless ass!_

This was not the way he imagined explaining to Bella all this mess. But seeing her after all this time… alone in the woods with Paul… and having to listen to Paul – another man – defending Sam's own imprint against him just pushed him over the edge. He snapped and attacked like the enraged wolf he was.

_Well done, Sam! You really did it this time…._

How he was supposed to fix that he had no idea. Bella was in hysterics afraid of him. And Paul was comforting her….

_And pray tell how did Paul fit into this picture in the first place?_

They didn't even know each other! Or had they met and Sam didn't know about it? Was that possible? Could Paul have done that?

_This was his imprint for fuck's sake! His no one else's!_

And if Paul had actually done that….

_How dare he? He would kill him for that; Bella was his, only his!_

How could he have kept it a secret?

_They shared a mind dammit!_

Sam kept pacing like a caged animal. He tried to keep calm, really he did, but his mind kept bombarding him with images of Paul with Bella out in the woods. He wanted to trust them that nothing was going on.

_These were his brother and imprint for Taha Aki's sake! If he couldn't trust them, what was the point of anything?_

His wolf had other ideas though. He was growling at him enraged that he left Bella in the care of another man no matter who he was_. _

_His imprint that he hadn't held or smelt or felt close for so long!_

The wolf did not care about reason or trust, the only thing he wanted was Bella. He was trying to claw his way out and run back to his mate. Sam was struggling for control, but it was not easy to contain the wolf while he was also fighting to keep the man calm. Every instinct in him was calling for Bella and she was not there. She was with Paul.

_And where was Paul anyway?_

He must have known that Sam would be frantic to know that his imprint was so close and still not able to be with her, to have to rely on someone else – another man – to soothe and comfort her.

_Surely they were not still together, right? What could they possibly have to talk about that took so much time? _

Sam stopped his pacing and punched his fist into the closest tree. Again and again and again until he heard the crack of bones crashing… He leaned forward and rested his forehead on the bark breathing hard. His blood was staining his face and his hand was definitely broken but Sam did not care. The pain was a welcome distraction from the wolf howling in his head. He had to stop thinking like that or he would lose all semblance of control and a rabid wolf would be set free on the reservation.

Sam closed his eyes trying to calm down. He would never forgive himself if he lost control and hurt someone. Bella would never forgive him or for that matter herself either. And it would kill him to see Bella suffer like that for his sins.

_No, no no... Not Bella, never Bella! _

The wolf cringed at the thought that his mate would be in pain and growled aggressively.

_No one would hurt his mate, no one! Not even Sam!_

Sam smiled despite his anger. It was hilarious really how a slip of a girl could tame the big bad wolf without even trying. And it would be absolutely fascinating when Bella actually realized her power and began to use it, but he did not care. He belonged to her and nothing could Bella ever do to make him resent her.

Sam sat on the ground with his back against the tree and took a deep breath relieved that the wolf seemed to have calmed a little. He would have to wait it out for Paul to come to him and hope that he would do so alone.

_What other choice did he really have? _

Sam sighed defeated. He did not dare to show himself before Bella again, not until he had a chance to talk to Paul and clear this mess. He had made himself enough of a fool already, he couldn't afford to make more waves. Even before he lost it completely and phased into a wolf terrifying Bella, he had acted like a jealous, possessive asshole. He would have to grovel begging for her understanding and forgiveness. She was probably furious with his attitude and rightly so; he could see it now that he was thinking more clearly.

_I mean Bella and Paul? Together? _

How did that thought even enter his mind, he would never know. They were both too straight forward to be screwing around behind his back. And Paul knew of course that Bella was his imprint and a wolf's imprint was sacred to all the pack.

_Would pleading temporary insanity get him out of this clusterfuck?_

Paul would let it be no question asked. He knew how missing his imprint had paralysed him. But Bella? _How could he make things right? How could he expect Bella to excuse his behavior? What words could explain to her that he was not a madman blinded with jealousy?_

He had phased just before her eyes with no concern for her safety or her sanity for Taha Aki's sake!

_What a way to introduce her to pack life… Bella would never trust him now. How could she? She would never feel safe with him again. She would reject him!_

A choked sob rose in his throat and Sam closed his eyes in pain. In one moment he had destroyed all his chances for a happy future with Bella. He punched his fist to the ground and screamed with despair.

_All was lost and he had only himself to blame…. _

Paul heard Sam screaming and started running in earnest. He hadn't been very eager to meet with him and explain the impossible story that made Bella his sister.

_In that crazed state of mind Sam would sure attack him first and start asking question later, much much later after he had shred him to peaces probably… _

So Paul was stalling. But that broken sound filled with despair and pain made his hair, well fur, stand up on the back of his neck and his blood to run cold.

_For Taha Aki's sake, where are you Sam? _

Sam had never sounded like that even in his worst moments when he first realised that Bella was on the plane to Phoenix. Paul was suddenly very afraid of what he would find when he finally tracked him down. He was expecting an enraged Sam, was even prepared to fight him, but that barely human scream was not of an angry man.

_Why did it have to be me to deal with this…. this emotional shit? _He moaned shuddering.

_Would you prefer Bella to have to do it_? He mentally chastised himself and took a deep breath to steady himself as he reached the beach and smelled Sam nearby.

Paul phased back to human and walked carefully out of the trees – It would not do to further agitate his unstable alpha – and froze on his tracks when he actually saw Sam slumped under a tree.

_Oh Sam, what have you done to yourself? _

Paul blinked to hold back his sudden tears at the look of the broken man before him and cursed violently.

_And why did I take so long to come find you? _

He started towards Sam who gave no sign of having heard him, making Paul panic even more. A wolf had to be gravely distracted not to hear someone approaching at such a close distance.

"Sam?" He called in a gentle tone very few people had ever heard from him.

"Sam?" He tried again when he got no response. Sam didn't even twitch.

_That was not good. That was not good at all!_

"Sam! Sam, look at me dammit!" Paul shouted kneeling before him, getting a good look of him for the first time.

Sam sat perfectly still under the tree. He had his eyes closed and trails of tears marred his pale face. Paul felt his heart clench tightly in his chest with fear. Sam was always so strong, calm and collected.

_To see him now so broken was just not right!_

He was always there when Paul and his pack brothers needed him and Paul felt horribly ashamed that none of them realised for so long that Sam was in pain.

_And when they finally did get a clue about Sam's imprint what did they do to help their alpha? _

They chose to rebel instead since the cat, or wolf as the case maybe, was away.

_But not again, never again would he be so selfish! _

Paul vowed fervently. He would stand by his alpha's side and help him win his girl.

_Even if that meant that he would have to tolerate his alpha and his sister smooching in his head! Ugh! _

"SAM! Come on man, look at me!" Paul grabbed Sam by his shoulders and shook him violently with no success.

_To hell with caution! We are having an emergency here! Sorry, Sam but you are leaving me with no choice._

Paul slapped him, hard. "SAM , LOOK AT ME!"

Sam opened his eyes and blinked wearily.

"Sam?" Paul sucked a sudden breath, shocked by the pain in Sam's unfocused eyes and whispered gently, "Come on man, it's Paul, talk to me."

Sam blinked again and closed his eyes refusing to look at him. "I lost her", he croaked brokenly.

Paul paused for a second puzzled.

_What on earth was Sam talking about? Bella? He thought he had lost Bella? What the…? Never mind, now was definitely not the time."_

He squeezed Sam's shoulders encouragingly. "No you did not!"

It didn't seem to make any difference. Sam bowed his head closing his eyes again.

"I lost her", he murmured so faintly that Paul was hard-pressed to hear him even with his werewolf ears.

"No, You did not lose Bella!", he repeated forcefully. "Bella is right here on the res, do you hear me?"

Paul grabbed his chin with his right hand while keeping his left one on Sam's shoulder in what he hoped was a soothing gesture and forced his head up.

"Sam, open your eyes and look at me dammit! Bella did not leave!"

Sam did not answer, nor did he open his eyes. He did not seem to have any fight left in him and that was that frightened Paul the most. He had to get through to him somehow. Sam was suffering needlessly but he was too damn stubborn to listen!

_Taha Aki, do not let me make a mistake here! I beg you!_

Paul braced himself for impact and plunged in all the way. " Sam, for the last time, Bella did NOT leave! I left her at my house unpacking."

Sam fought to get out of his grip as his eyes opened wide; the thought of his imprint in another man's house was bound to get a reaction. Anticipating that move, Paul was actually betting on it, he pushed him down again and held him against the tree.

"Yeah, I thought that would get your attention." , he whispered, "Will you listen to me now?"

"Bella…"

"Yes, Bella. Your imprint, Bella who has not left you! That Bella. Will you focus now?"

_Oh, Taha aki, please spare me the blessing of imprinting!_

" Sam…." Feeling guilty for his outburst, Paul tried to calm himself. He released his grip on Sam, but kept his hands on his shoulders. They both needed the contact. "Sam, try to focus…We have a lot to talk about and even more to explain before we go to find Bella."

"Bella must hate me now…. How could she not?", Sam exclaimed incredulously, " I jumped to conclusions! Stupid, stupid conclusions!" Unable to contain himself now that the dam was broken Sam jumped to his feet and started pacing. " I yelled and screamed just like her father! I was out of control! I phased in front of her! I scared her!"

_So that's what brought up this breakdown! Now we are getting somewhere…._

"Is that out of your system?" Paul asked when Sam finally paused to take a breath.

"Do not mock me, Paul!" Sam growled, "You just don't understand!"

_Finally, a reaction! Anger is good. Thank you, Taha Aki!_

Paul jumped to his feet and marched across the beach to where Sam stood. "No, I don't understand what it's like to imprint, but what I do know is that Bella does not hate you. How do I know? Because I talked to her! I explained to her…."

"You had no right!"

"Do not growl at me Sam; I had to tell her our legends and how we change into fucking wolves, since she saw it with her own eyes!" Paul snapped finally losing his patience. "Think man! And while we are at it, there is a perfectly good explanation why I was out in the woods with her in the first place and we will get to it, later. Now, I did not mention imprinting. You will have to explain that after you finish groveling. "

Sam watched silently oddly fascinated by Paul's outburst.

_Who would have thought that Paul had it in him to comfort Bella and tell his alpha off all in one day's work? Paul who prides himself on being a jerk… _

"How did she take it?", he finally asked. _Did he dare hope?_

"She was shocked all right. It's not every day you learn that people close to you get to turn into giant wolves."

"Paul!" Sam growled impatiently.

Paul looked out over the ocean trying to find the right words. _Why does this have to be so difficult? Imprinting was supposed to be a gift from the gods! _Not wanting to taunt Sam with his silence, he turned to him again.

"Bella is a strong girl; you know that. She took the legends well enough. Look Sam, I know that you think that Bella reacted badly. Yes, she was hysterical, but it was not just fear of the wolf. You don't have the whole story yet, but today was an extremely difficult day for Bella even before we phased in front of her. Sam, I have never lied to you. Bella does not hate you and she will not run screaming. You have to believe me."

_It's true Paul has never lied to me. Dare I hope? I will have to. _ "All right, Paul…. I overreacted, on all fronts… " _I can't believe I've been such an ass. Missing his imprint is driving the wolf insane and I am losing control over him. Oh Bella, how am I to explain this mess to you?_

"No apologies, Sam. We're cool." _Enough already with talking about our feelings! _"Don't tell me we will need to hug and kiss?"

Sam couldn't help but laugh at Paul's disgusted face. "And here is the Paul we all know and love! You had me worried for a moment with all this deep talk!"

"You had me worried too. For a moment I really thought that we had lost you today." _Ugh! I can't believe I am talking about my fucking feelings! Man up Paul! _

"Thank you brother…" Sam choked with emotion. It was nice having someone take care of him for a change.

Paul made an impatient gesture of dismissal refusing to say another word about feelings. Seeing him squirm, Sam decided to let it go. "Just how angry is Bella?"

Paul smirked at him, "Oh, she is angry all right, but she did promise to listen to you. How are you at groveling? " _Finally some entertainment! _ "I really don't envy you that!"

"I will have to explain everything to her and hope for the best. I am not looking forward to that, but there is no other way she will understand… " _I will have to hope. What other choice do I have? _ " Now what is this about you two being alone in the woods? And why is she unpacking in your house?"

"Oh, that's a completely different story and a long one that is!" Paul laughed relieved at last.

_Sam seemed to get better back to his old self minute by minute – having Bella close to him in La Push had already made a huge difference – and Paul would finally get to completely shock his alpha with the most unbelievable story!_

"Why don't we phase and let Bella tell it in her own words? It is her story after all." Paul suggested with a smirk. _And this way I will get a front row sit in your head to watch the show. _"Ready?"

"Holy shit!"


End file.
